Being a screaming psycho is embarrassing
I get embarrassingly angry every two months or so. Usually, it’s something simple that just sends me into rage. The outlet my computer plugs into sometimes gets squirrelly, shutting everything down. That’s been good for just flipping me out at least twice.
It’s embarrassing because all I seem interested in doing at times like those is to break stuff and scream obscenities. We had workers here once who heard me going nuts and were flat-out terrified of me. They don’t speak English so all they knew was that I’m a crazy, screaming American.
What’s odd about it is how hard it is to shake off the anger. It’s as if I try and hold on to it. Like I get a perverse delight from being an out-of-control psycho. I’ve never hurt anyone, mind you, except for my wife’s feelings once or twice. And a couple chairs. My keyboard. Several pencils and pens.
It’s way too much like my dad, really. He used to own a trucking company in Southern California and I remember a time where one of his drivers didn’t properly secure a load of some type of steel equipment. They fell off the guy’s truck on the I-605 and about 25 cars were severely damaged from them. It was a costly day for my dad.
But he kept his cool and handled the situation. But real silly-ass minor stuff would piss him off to no end. And I am exactly the same. Nothing quite like holding in your feelings then vomiting them all out at once because of computer problems. Or not being able to find a shirt.
Like I said. It’s embarrassing.
–WKW
December 27th, 2005 at 8:26 am
The only things that get me really breaking-anything-within-arm’s-reach angry are:
1. Computer problems, preferably those that cause a loss of work for maximum destructiveness.
2. When video games cheat (opposing player in Madden makes a 90 yard TD pass, recovers onside kick and scores via 72 yard TD pass to win the game in the final :18).
This is also reflected in the objects I normally choose to destroy: keyboards (something really satisfying about a shower of keycaps raining down on you) and video game controllers (smaller pieces = more points). It got to the point in college I would keep an extra keyboard in my desk (MacOS v8-9 was enuf to drive anyone batty) but OSX has been good for my blood pressure.
December 27th, 2005 at 7:10 pm
Gene’s right, Bill. Our backyard bushes are showered with tiny plastic game controller pieces.
December 31st, 2005 at 11:43 pm
Ya, I just finished Million Dollar Baby and I was amazed at how cool and collected Clint was in the movie. I wonder if he is like that in real life. I wish I could control myself better. Sometimes my kids get me going. Oh yah, the computer can drive me nuts too.
Dan