A Nerve.com Bad Erotica Contest champion comes clean
August 28, 2006 by William K. Wolfrum
I hadn’t thought about this for a while but in 2003, on a lark, I entered the Nerve.com “Bad Erotica Contest.” I wrote an entry in about 30 minutes of divinely bad erotic inspiration and sent it in. I didn’t even give it a title or include my name, just the name that came on my e-mail “Bill.”
I forgot about it for a while until I got an e-mail from Nerve telling me I was one of the finalists and to check the Web site to see where I placed. I called my wife over, we checked the site, and lo and behold, I was the winner. I got $500 from it, which took about six months to receive, but they sent it to me. It was a fun experience.
The opening line seemed to really capture everyone’s imagination:
“She woke with the taste of his turgid penis on her lips …”
Some sites that mentioned it:
And some others. I even just noticed that writer Steve Almond, one of the judges, gave a reading of it, along with the other winners. Trippy.
“That was so fun (to judge the contest). It was terrible, but so good. Good terrible. “I awoke with the taste of his turgid penis still in my mouth.” So bad it’s brilliant.” — Steve Almond
I don’t know where to find the whole story, except at Nerve.com, but you need a subscription. Trust me, it was truly hideous. But, you know, I meant it to be that way.
I just wanted to come clean, as it were.
Edit: Check that, I just found the whole story, saved by one of Gene Merrill’s “Constant State of Flux” friends, Adam. You can find it here, if you can stomach these sort of things.
–WKW
Awesomely awful, Bill. I laughed so hard at the “sparse, yet highly sexual studio
apartment” part. Even when it’s bad erotica, you’re such a good writer.
Why thank you, Tara. From a girl who remains the only 20-year-old I ever met who liked being a copy editor, I consider that high praise
Bill
[...] 1997 Alaska Press Club Award 1998 Alaska Press Club Award 2003 Nerve.com Bad Erotica Winner 2006 Time Man of the Year [...]
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