Violence and death in Iraq continue to plummet to record lows!
With car bombings no longer constituting murder or death, a car bomb going off in Iraq today that left two U.S. soldiers dead, is being pointed to by the administration as more proof that staying the course in Iraq is working.
“I think it just goes to show, that violence is in its final throes in Iraq,” said an unidentified U.S. spokesman.
Even better news came later in the day, when U.S. body counters decided that bullets to the head no longer constituted murder or violence, but would be marked down as “Internal Head Malfunction.”
“We truly believe math can prove anything, and that as long as we stay in Iraq, our need for better mathematicians will continue to grow,” said the spokesman. “And everyone knows that U.S. mathematicians are 123rd best in the world.”
Finally, GOP congressmen have been working around the clock after the UN nuclear watchdog protested over a U.S. report on Iran’s nuclear program, calling it “erroneous” and “misleading.”
Later today or early tomorrow, bill H.T. 1721 is likely to pass along party lines. The bill will permanently change the meanings of the words “erroneous” and “misleading” to “true” and “Islamofascism.”
–WKW
January 9th, 2007 at 4:41 am
[…] I swear to God on this one: when they started talking about invading Iraq, I would have guaranteed that the U.S. would have someone around who would explain some of the complexities of the Middle Eastern region. […]