Just keep repeating: Terrorists are going to kill every last one of you
In keeping with the theory of “The only way to beat terrorists is to act completely terrified” the United States and the World paid little attention to U.S. Congressional hearings today that passed a new law that banishes habeas corpus, pisses on the Geneva Coventions, makes secret and coerced evidence permissable and destroys judicial review. But, only for “Enemy Combatants” of the U.S., which could be anyone from Osama bin Laden, to your neighbor Bob, all at the sole descretion of the President of the U.S.
What’s taken the World news by storm however is this important, breaking news:
Al Qaeda calls for kidnappings, attacks in Iraq!
Parrttyy!!!!!!
Yes, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, called for fighters to come to Iraq and join the jihad, during the current Muslim month of Ramadan. He also announced plans to release his new single “Come Join the Jihad” from the album “Jihad up in Here” available on Death Row Records.
The announcement came as a shock to U.S. Intelligence forces, who had predicted al-Muhajir would call for “Hugs, tickle fights, and perhaps a wet willy or two” for the religous festival.
“Wow, we totally missed the mark on this one,” said one unidentified official, who said the new plan for U.S. citizens throughout the world is now “Hide, pee yourself, avoid non-Hollywood or sporting current events, and buy duct tape. And for God’s sakes, don’t dissent.”
–WKW
September 28th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
Yes, William, he is indeed dreamy. Although he seems to have a slight imbalance in his left/right eyebrow and moustache trimming…