The American Thinker: A Web site so nice, they misnamed it twice

From The American Thinker, a Web site with a double misnomer it appears:

Another counterproductive educrat “innovation” debunked

What have the graduate schools of education ever contirbuted to the learning of America’s children? Do we really need “innovative” or “cutting edge” techniques to teach that which has been successfully passed from generation to generation for millenia? Why has per capita spending on public education nearly doubled in real dollars, while achievement has been tanking?

–WKW

Saddam vows: “We will crush your heads”

At his “trial,” Saddam Hussein, yelled at witnesses describing Kurdish guerillas: “You are agents of Iran and Zionism. We will crush your heads.”

Just one more connection between Saddam and the weird guy from Kids in the Hall.

–WKW

Five years ago today, bored, lonely conspiracy nuts got a reason to live

Sept. 10, 2001: Thousands of conspiracy nuts, praying they could find some minute, undiscovered detail in a NASA moon-landing picture, spent most nights crying themselves to sleep. Their future looked bleak.

Sept. 11, 2001: Before the second tower hit the ground, the first Sept. 11 conspiracy theory was born, and thousands of unemployed guys living in their parents’ basements suddenly had a reason to live again. And make some money while they were at it.

Reality be damned.

“I was there. I saw it.”
–James S. Robbins, National Review

–WKW

Bush’s Detainee Trial Plan: Taking away the rights of others and putting U.S. troops in even greater risk – to save his, and his party’s asses

Is it just me, or is it truly surreal that not more of a fuss is being made about all of this?

From the AP:

Bush wants Congress to support new legislation the White House drafted for prosecuting suspected terrorists for war crimes. A new plan was needed after the Supreme Court ruled in June that an earlier plan violated U.S. and international law.

Translation: The President has, and continues to break the law in this case, one of several laws he’s broken as President. Now, he again needs to change the law.

The president’s new plan for trying detainees would authorize the defense secretary to convene military tribunals to prosecute terrorism suspects and omit rights common in military and civil courts, such as the defendant’s right to access all evidence and a ban on coerced testimony.

This is basically the “guilty until we prove you guiltier, even if it requires torture” plan.

Gulags, torture, eavesdropping on U.S. citizens without warrants or any oversight whatsoever, and then changing laws to make them fit your illegal actions after the facts.

Is this the U.S. we were taught to be so proud of?

–WKW

Disney: All that’s missing is “VOTE GOP” screaming from speakers on “It’s a Small World”

Fahrenhiet 9/11: Disney refuses to distribute in movie theaters.

Path to 9/11: Disney hosts on free TV, with no commercials, and appears to be including a speech by George W. Bush in the middle of it.

Yeah. That seems like all they care about is being politically neutral, eh?

–WKW

Project Uncensored: Shining a light on stories that deserve more attention than Paris Hilton or delusional pedophiles

Over at Dvorak Uncensored, they ran an item about Project Censored out of Sonoma State University in California and its list of the Top 25 Censored news stories of 2007. The poster, Unlce Dave had this to say:

But is this a valid list? While they don’t get hammered on constantly like the war and various other issues, I know for a fact I’ve heard a number of these stories discussed on NPR, for example. Plus, with the rise of blogs (including DU — we’ve had posts on at least two of the above) and Internet news-based reporting, does it really matter what ‘big media’ is reporting or not since practically everything is discussed somewhere daily online? And if it does matter, is ‘censorship’ the right word for why they aren’t reported on much?

Well, first of all, I think “Censored” is much more attention-getting than “Underreported,” so I say we give Project Uncensored a pass on that. As far as NPR and bloggers, well, just because you’re informed, doesn’t mean most of the U.S. is. And blogs are nice, but as long as my folks tell me that they’re giving people my “e-mail” when they mean they are giving people the URLs to my blogs or articles, than I think bloggers still don’t have the audience many seem to think they do.

Nonetheless, here are the Top 25 Censored news stories of 2007, according to Project Uncensored, as I feel they deserve as much publicity as possible, in a world easily distracted by Paris Hilton and John David Karr.

Top 25 Censored news stories of 2007

1) Future of Internet Debate Ignored by Media

2) Halliburton Charged with Selling Nuclear Technologies to Iran

3) Oceans of the World in Extreme Danger

4) Hunger and Homelessness Increasing in the US

5) High-Tech Genocide in Congo

6) Federal Whistleblower Protection in Jeopardy

7) US Operatives Torture Detainees to Death in Afghanistan and Iraq

Pentagon Exempt from Freedom of Information Act

9) The World Bank Funds Israel-Palestine Wall

10) Expanded Air War in Iraq Kills More Civilians

11) Dangers of Genetically Modified Food Confirmed

12) Pentagon Plans to Build New Landmines

13) New Evidence Establishes Dangers of Roundup

14) Homeland Security Contracts KBR to Build Detention Centers in the US

15) Chemical Industry is EPA’s Primary Research Partner

16) Ecuador and Mexico Defy US on International Criminal Court

17) Iraq Invasion Promotes OPEC Agenda

18) Physicist Challenges Official 9-11 Story

19) Destruction of Rainforests Worst Ever

20) Bottled Water: A Global Environmental Problem

21) Gold Mining Threatens Ancient Andean Glaciers

22) Billions in Homeland Security Spending Undisclosed

23) US Oil Targets Kyoto in Europe

24) Cheney’s Halliburton Stock Rose Over 3000 Percent Last Year

25) US Military in Paraguay Threatens Region

We’ll come back to these individually periodically.

–WKW

Ford’s Way Forward plan: Pay CEO $30 million, have him buy 50,000 cars a year

In the company’s latest attempt to cease existing, Ford Motor Company has agreed to pay its new chief executive, Alan Mulally a $2-million base salary as well as an $18.5 million bonus. Mulally will also receive 4 million stock options priced at the grant date’s current fair-market value of $8.28 along with 600,000 restricted stock units.

Wall Street experts said Mulally will likely decline on the stock options until the price settles at Ford’s current target price of zero.

An anonymous source at Ford hinted that part of Mulally’s deal will be to purchase in excess of 50,000 Ford vehicles each year.

Ford executives also were treated to a meeting with President George W. Bush, who gave them some expert tips on how to run a business straight into the ground. The meeting is part of Bush’s rumored new “America: Why Produce Things When You Can Work At Wal-Mart?” Act.

Ford lost $1.4 billion during the first half of the year and will likely soon close more plants, sell off more of its assets and cut thousands of more jobs as it continues its push to become a subsidiary of Honda.

–WKW

Sure, we operate secret prisons and practice rendition, but … Hey, look, a tape of the al Qaeda Islamofascist Death squad baby killers!!!

So, let me get this straight: the President stands up before the world and admits he’s been an immoral, renditioning, torture-ordering (I use “torturing” as an alternative for the word “alternative”) bad boy, and the very next day, a tape of Osama bin Laden appears?

Heeyyyyyy … are you guys forgeting to be terrified again? You keep this up, they may need to conjure up even more scary images of men with beards.

This new video is truly an important sign — it shows that, with vital elections fast approaching, Americans may possibly be paying attention to world events. This new video is obviously a not-so-subtle sign that American citizens better quickly lapse back into their malaise, or else, well, more videos will be forthcoming, followed by trucks with speakers on the top of them driving up and down residential streets with the word “TERRORISTS!” repeated on an endless loop, in a blood-curtling scream.

Really, America, it’s up to you. If you keep noticing the immense hole your leadership is digging for you, then you’re just asking for it.

So please, watch “The Path to 9/11″ to find out the real reasons why we were attacked, and learn a little more about the blood-thirsty, horrifying brown people who would cut your throat and drink your blood if they could, and then tune into the brand-new season of Dancing with the Stars, only on ABC!

–WKW

Abu Hamza al-Muhajer is the next Iraqi al Qaeda Idol!

The votes have been counted and the plume of spoke has risen to the heavens and Abu Hamza al-Muhajer is the newest Iraqi al Qaeda Idol!

“This is just amazing, totally cool, seriously,” said al-Muhajer.

The previously unknown al-Muhajer locked up his place as al Qaeda’s new No. 1 man in Iraq with a stirring rendition of “Allah akbar, Say it again, Alla akbar!”

The previous Iraqi al Qaeda Idol, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed in an airstrike. Now, it’s up to al-Muhajar to round up his tiny force in Iraq so that U.S. officials can make him the most terrifying man alive.

“He definitely has potential,” said a U.S. official. “He can hit the high notes, has a beard and knows how to entertain a crowd.”

Showing the skills that made him the new boss, al-Muhajer responded with a tirade against the U.S.

“Everyone showed so much faith in me, you know? I’m seriously going to try and kill the hell out of those infidels,” said al-Muhajer.

Al-Muhajer’s first album “I’m seriously going to try and kill the hell out of those infidels,” is due out by Christmas.

–WKW

President Bush’s “Alternative interrogation” opens doors for all of us

By coming out an admitting the U.S. used secret prisons, President George W. Bush showed a confidence normally only found in politicians who don’t have to worry about being elected again.

But by admitting that the U.S. used “alternative” interrogation methods, that he insisted weren’t torture, he quite possibly changed the landscape of what all men can get away with when describing bad things.

This is far beyond debating the meaning of the word “is.” No, the use of the word “alternative” has a possibility of catching on around the nation in a big way. Kind of like “Where’s the beef?”

Is it possible that Troy Lee Gentry acted in an “alternative” way when he shot a caged bear?

Did Enron practice “alternative” accounting practices?

Did Tony Soprano find an “alternative” working relationship with Big Pussy?

This should be word we hear a lot about in the coming months. I see a lucrative and busy future for the word “Alternative,” which should peak right about the time Bush and his PNAC masters find an “alternative” to congress to get them into a war with Iran.

Ok, I overstated that. I should say, until they find an “alternative” to peace in Iran.

–WKW

The Blair Necessities: Because when life gets tough, Lisa Whelchel makes a great target

I’m not gay, but I’ve seen plenty of gay people on TV, and let me tell you, I like what I see.

So when I happened upon the site Nervous Breakdown (“Dictae of a New York City-ensconced worried gay”), I happily gulped down what he had to offer (It’s freeing to make gay innuendos). And let me tell you, the guy is a fun blogger who cheerfully spreads the snark thickly enough that you need a special snark-cleaning appliance to clean it off your screen.

I mean, where else would you find “Super Mario on Ice?”

Anyway, I followed NB to another site of his, which may in fact be the second-greatest site of all time, “The Blair Necessities.” It’s a blog that mocks what is obviously the greatest site of all time, LisaWhelchel.com.

Yes, the former Facts of Life bitchy bombshell has her own Web site, and lo and behold, she is Christian with an intensity that likely has Christ himself hinting at her to cool it. The site itself is mesmerizing, including information on her book “Taking Care of the Me in Mommy” (where’s the “confused yet delighted and horrified” emoticon when you need it?), among other things.

By far though, the best part of the site, and the part that the Blair Necessities focuses on, is the “Coffee Talk” section.

Here’s a little taste of what the complexly devout Whelchel has to say these days, filtered through “Blair Necessities, Coffee Talk Companion” of course:

Lisa Whelchel: What prompted me to write this was thinking about how each church denomination I’ve attended, five in all, have all had such a distinctly profound influence on my life and ministry. I can see God’s hand so evidently as He has used the different bodies of believers to shape me into who I am today.

Blair Necessities: We can see God’s hand, too, believe it or not. Right now it’s shoving itself down God’s throat. You know, this is the first time we’ve ever really felt bad for God. Like, really.

It’s truly fantastic stuff, the perfect thing for you when you feel your head is about to explode watching Team Bush plot to save the world by killing Iranians as well as Iraqians and anyone else lighter that Whelchel’s defiantly hyper-white husband.

The best part is, we can openly mock Whelchel, and the worst we’ll get from it is prayers from her. It’s totally win-win. I imagine she’s spent many an hour trying to pray the Snarky Gayness Demon off our friend at Nervous Breakdown, but it doesn’t appear to be taking. Which is truly a victory for us all.

Lisa Whelchel: Because without
Christ, she’d be doing soft-porn
lesbo scenes with Alyssa Milano.

–WKW

Everyone’s a Terrorist! Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!

Everyone’s a Terrorist!
Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!
Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!
Everyone’s a Terrorist!

“Five years after our nation was attacked, the terrorist danger remains. We’re a nation at war. And America and our allies are fighting this war with relentless determination across the world.

Together with our coalition partners, we’ve removed terrorist sanctuaries, disrupted their finances, killed and captured key operatives, broken up terrorist cells in America and other nations, and stopped new attacks before they’re carried out.

We’re on the offense against the terrorists on every battle front and we’ll accept nothing less than complete victory.

– President George W. Bush, Sept. 5, 2005

And so this is the end of our story
And everyone is dead from Terrorists
It took from me my best friend
My only true pal
My only bright star (he died of Terrorism)

The Education Department acknowledged Thursday that, at the request of the FBI, it had scoured millions of federal student loan records for information about suspected terrorists in the five years since the Sept. 11 attacks.

– Los Angeles Times, Sept. 3, 2006

Well I’m gonna march on Washington
Lead the fight and charge the brigades
There’s a hero inside of all of us
I’ll make them see everyone is a Terrorist

Something very odd is going on in the FBI, other federal law enforcement agencies, the Justice Department and perhaps the federal courts too. Most people arrested on charges related to suspected terrorist activities aren’t being prosecuted.

The Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse at Syracuse University, a watchdog group that often concentrates on the Justice Department, examined the records of 6,472 terrorism-connected federal cases started since the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Some 64 percent of the 4,910 “disposed of” were not prosecuted; another 9 percent were acquitted or saw charges dropped. (These cases do not include prisoners held at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.)

– Boston Herald, Sept. 3, 2006

My father (Terrorist!)
My sister (Terrorist!)
My uncle and my cousin and her best friend (Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!)
The gays and the straights
And the white and the spades

Fear of another terrorist attack remains real for many Americans. For people who lived in the two cities struck by the terrorists on Sept. 11, 2001 — New York and Washington — the fears are intensely personal and vivid.

In America’s heartland, the fears remain, but the dangers seem more distant. Retiree Holly Thomson of Sedan, Kan., says she hasn’t flown since 9/11 and looks at strangers with suspicion. She considers New York and Washington more dangerous now, “But I feel safe here.”

–Associated Press, Aug. 31, 2006

Everyone’s a Terrorist!
My grandma and my dog ‘ol blue (Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!)
The pope is one and so are you (Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!)
C’mon everybody we got quilting to do (Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!)
We gotta break down these baricades, everyone’s a
Terrorist! Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist Terrorist!

“Bin Laden and his terrorist allies have made their intentions as clear as Lenin and Hitler before them.”

–President Bush, Sept. 5, 2006

–WKW (Thanks to Trey Parker)

‘Hitler’s Cross’ a bad name for a restaurant, but as bad as a pest-control company named ‘Osama’s'?

There have been a few stories in the news lately about a restaraunt in Índia that took the name “Hitler’s Cross.”

“Hitler is a catchy name. Everyone knows Hitler,” said owner Puneet Sabhlok, 23, who had went as far as putting a swastika on the logo.

Anyway, after a stern talking to from some Jewish organizations, Sabhlok has decided to change the name. He didn’t seem to mean any disrespect, but just wanted to get people’s attention, which he did, withg the price being that he has the firm taint of immoral upon him.

Still, I found it quite humorous that the frightened gargoyles at Little Green Footballs found this quite outrageous, even though they’ll call up the specter of Hitler to describe everyone from Iran’s leader to a guy who cut them off in traffic.

Luckily for them they don’t live in Brazil, where in the state of Minas Gerais there’s a pest-control place that has chosen the name Osama’s (Note to self: Get picture of this business this week). It’s named as such because, well, they kill everything.

I can guarantee this: It’s not meant as a slam for those that died in 9/11. But the thing that American’s don’t seem to understand, or play off with a quick “Who cares what anyone thinks” is that the majority of the rest of the world is made up of nations that don’t treat war as a national pasttime. And after the Bush re-election, the rest of the world seems to think Americans are scary and stupid bullies. Especially in South America, which has been an endless victim of American tinkering.

Is a pest-control business named “Osama’s” disrespectful? Of course. But it shows how the rest of the world is quickly losing respect for the United States.

–WKW

Don’t forget Leonard Peltier: Because we are a land of laws, not of revenge or “common sense”

It’s 31 years since the Shootout at Jumping Bull Ranch, and more than 30 years since Leonard Peltier was imprisoned for the murders of FBI Special Agents, Ronald A. Williams and Jack R. Coler, who died during a Sept. 1975 shoot-out on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

Peltier continues to be a symbol, even though it’s an ever-changing one. But now, his story is one to recall as the U.S. continues its slide into becoming a land based on revenge and the “common sense” of our authority figures rather than on being a land based on laws. Leonard Peltier turns 62 on Sept. 12.

Crazy Life

anyway now, it don’t seem right
he is in there and you’re on the outside
over pine ridge to wounded knee
there’s blood on the ground as far as you see
crazy life

in the air i’m sensing a change in the weather
in the end the path is clear
does anyone remember here
did you all think he’d just disappear
crazy life
what have you done with Peltier
who did you think you’d taken away
crazy life

in the air i’m sensing a change in the weather
in the end the path is clear

burying won’t stop it breathing forever
underground it takes to root

anyway, it don’t seem right
he is in there and you’re on the outside
what have you done with Peltier
who did you think you’d taken away
it’s not over…

– Toad the Wet Sprocket

–WKW

President Bush’s new strategy: Ramble incoherently, wait patiently for anniversary of Sept. 11

The economy is growing and things are great, President George W. Bush said in a Labor Day speech to stunned and confused onlookers. Now, if we can only get Middle Eastern nations to stop having an irrational hatred of us, things would be like an endless day at Disneyland.

“Problem is, we get oil from some parts of the world and they simply don’t like us. The more dependent we are on that type of energy, the less likely it will be that we are able to compete and so people can have good paying jobs.”

The Good-Paying Jobs had no comment, but were seen rolling their eyes and chuckling.

Bush also said he is interested in greater development of nuclear energy.

“Nuclear power is safe and nuclear power is clean and nuclear power is renewable.”

Bush associates quickly pointed out that nuclear power is super fantastic in the hands of a peaceful nation like the U.S., but is a danger to the world in the hands of Iranians. Bush then snuck back in the room and stated that war with Iran would make our enemies hate us less, create lower oil prices, create new, super-fantastic jobs, win the war on terrorism and make for a better America while fixing New Orleans.

They all then breathed a sigh of relief as they realized the five-year anniversary of Sept. 11 is coming shortly and that Bush wouldn’t have to say much more than “Gotta get them terrorist, islamofascist killers” until at least October.

–WKW

« Previous Page — Next Page »