Perverts rejoice! Scientists take step toward invisibility
For so many long and lonely years, the idea of being invisible was but a pipe dream to the majority of perverts. To a small handful, it was a reality, but those were the crazy perverts, and they don’t really count.
Now, however, the impossible may be possible as scientists led by a team at Duke University in North Carolina have demonstrated a technology that could lead them to invisibility. Perverts, dying to walk unnoticed in women’s locker rooms and bathrooms are literally wetting themselves with glee.
The system, a set of concentric copper circles on fiberglass board, deflects electromagnetic waves of a specific frequency that strike it, without much of the scattering and absorption that make reflections and shadows.
The result is that the microwaves slide around the structure like water flowing around a smooth rock in a stream, said David Smith, a professor of electrical and computer engineering at Duke and an author of the paper published Friday in the journal Science.
The exact structure of the circles was described in an earlier paper by John Pendry of Imperial College in London, who worked with the Duke group to see his theory etched into a working model by means of the process used to print circuit boards. In the recent paper, researchers said they had successfully cloaked a copper cylinder.
The findings were first revealed in The Sun, a British tabloid. “Boffin Invents Invisibility Cloak,” a headline stated, using the British slang for a research scientist.
Enthusiasts have already suggested that the technology may someday be useful for the military to create objects that are invisible to radar, or to shield objects from cell phone signals. There has even been talk of a real-life version of the invisibility device.
Put your clothes back on for now, however:
But Smith warned against getting ahead of the announcement Friday and envisioning cloaking devices like the ones used by Romulan warbirds of “Star Trek” being on the horizon.
The work “is really a scientific explanation,” he said, adding, “Whether it’s useful is always a question.”
So there you have it. Scientists may have taken a step to make the life of lonely and shy perverts light years better. Sadly, such technology, should it ever reach maturity, will likely only be used to slaughter massive amounts of people.
But the dream remains alive.
–WKW