Jesus Christ screws over stunned Republicans: “Blow me” says Messiah

WASHINGTON — Calling his actions “flighty and liberal to the highest degree,” Karl Rove today lashed out at Jesus Christ, claiming the savior let down the Republican party in the 2006 midterm elections, which saw Democrats take over the House, and very likely the Senate.

“After all we did for him? Who in the hell does he think he is?” a red-faced Rove said, clearly exasperated.

Rove was among many conservatives who believed that the Bush Administration’s extensive kowtowing to evangelicals would put them in a position where the GOP would be able to win every election (outside of Connecticut) with divine help.

Heaven-Bush Administration relations have frayed recently however, culminating when the Rev. Ted Haggard admitted to being a homosexual meth freak after long campaigning against gay rights.

While Heaven has steadfastly refused to comment on the situation, an obviously drunken Jesus couldn’t resist getting a few jabs in at the administration when encountered by the press leaving a bar in West Hollywood.

“The Republicans can blow me,” said Jesus. “Yeah, you heard me, they can bob on my divine rod for all I care. Faith-based initiatives my hairy ass.”

–WKW