Rumored relationship between Jessica Alba and Oliver Willis heats up, reports blogger Oliver Willis
November 23, 2006 by William K. Wolfrum
HOLLYWOOD — In a rumor that is sweeping the nation, actress Jessica Alba has been reported to be “deeply involved” with blogger Oliver Willis. This is according to blogger Oliver Willis, as well as many other bloggers, journalists, convicts, evangelists, and some guy looking for handouts.
Reports have been streaming in that Alba and Willis were seen canoodling at Spago in Beverly Hills. One fictional observer claimed the two were going at it “hot and heavy” and that Alba “couldn’t keep her hands off of Willis” and that it was quite possible that “Alba had been drugged” and that this union possibly could be a sign of the end of “the world.”
The filming of Alba’s new movie, the documentary “Oliver Willis and Other Freaks Who Are Stalking Me” has been suspended as a result of the rumors.
Alba is well known for roles in such movies as “The Fantastic Four” and “The Other Movies She Was in That Weren’t ‘The Fantastic Four’”. Willis is known primarily as a guy who hears the phrase “Dude, put down the Ho-Hos” way too often.
Willis has yet to respond publicly to the rumors, but a recent post on his Web site made it appear that the two were undoubtedly the land’s hottest, and least understood new couple.
“Jessica Alba and I (Oliver Willis) are together,” wrote Willis, adding, “Jessica Alba and Oliver Willis are the new hot couple in America.”
Willis allegedly plans to begin a rap career, leading many in the press to dub him “O-Will.”
–WKW
[...] While I have no evidence of this and have never actually spoken to a general, or in fact, anyone above the rank of Sergeant in the military, I can say with all confidence that every general in uniform today would agree with me whole heartedly on “Alba Scenario.” In fact, recent information gathered by unnamed sources have verified what many of us have long understood – he who controls Jessica Alba, controls the world. [...]
[...] Original post by William K. Wolfrum [...]
The Fantastic Four movie with Jessica Alba really was a let down for me. I loved the cartoon as a kid, but the remake pretty much just sucked.
[...] Being a long-time stalker of Oliver Willis, I know that he loves the Washington Redskins and Jessica Alba. Well, Willis is out of luck there, as we are all heart-shatteringly aware: [...]