America safer now that Heisman Trophy not allowed on airplanes
For years, Americans have been oblivious to the mortal dangers of the Heisman Trophy. There’s that straight arm, for example. Could put an eye out with that. Then before you know it, the owner of said trophy has control of the plane and is barreling down on the White House. Then where are you, you bunch of surrender monkeys?
Luckily, the Department of Homeland Security has seen the light. From the Associated Press:
Troy Smith’s Heisman Trophy was shipped home because airport security would not allow the Ohio State quarterback to take it on the plane Tuesday.
Smith wore a black leather jacket with the Heisman insignia on back when he arrived at the airport from New York, where he was presented college football’s most coveted trophy.
“We decided to have it shipped. That’s much easier. How times have changed. Eddie (George) carried it on the plane and put it in the seat next to him,” sports information director Steve Snapp said.
Smith was later waterboarded, belly-slapped and isolated for a few hours and warned to avoid being black on an airplane again, just a precaution.
Heisman Trophy threat diverted
–WKW