Who is the more despicable human, Newt Gingrich or Matti Vanhanen?
January 26, 2007 by William K. Wolfrum
It’s time to play everyone’s favorite game: “Who is the more despicable human!”
As we all know, grand champion Newt Gingrich has been prowling around the globe, merely scoffing at those who would consider themselves more despicable than he.
Today’s challenge: Finland Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen.
Vanhanen, one of Finland’s most eligible bachelors, recently broke up with the girlfriend he had met on the Internet. And Vanhanen did it via text messaging.
After much thought, Vanhanen’s actions can be considered classless and kinda pervy, but are still no match for Gingrich. It was in 1984 that Gingrich barged into his then-wife’s hospital room to discuss their divorce. That she was recovering from uterine cancer surgery made no difference to the man who has proudly proclaimed that “oral sex doesn’t count as adultery” as well as threatened former mistresses.
For this, plus his hatred of American institutions like free speech, and countless other acts of hypocrisy, as well as an obvious inability to act like a real human, Gingrich easily trounces Vanhanen to keep his title.
Join us next week for a special “All Speakers” episode of “Who is the more despicable human!” Gingrich will take on the two-headed challenge of Dennis Hastert and Tom DeLay. Don’t miss it, it promises to be a horrifyingly despicable episode!
–WKW
I think Vanhanen’s dumping of his girlfriend via text message is not surprising : Finland has more mobile phones than people, and Nokia is its biggest company! He is hot, though. That makes him less despicable.