The chaste are weird, sick bastards and they’re at war

I suppose the idea here is that if you’ve failed to teach your daughter to respect her body, then it’s better to parade her around the room and make her pinkie swear to not fuck.

Would you pledge your virginity to your father?

The event’s purpose is, in part, to celebrate dad-daughter bonding, but the main agenda is for fathers to vow to protect the girls’ chastity until they marry and for the daughters to promise to stay pure. Pastor Randy Wilson, host of the event and cofounder of the ball, strides to the front of the room, takes the microphone and asks the men, “Are you ready to war for your daughters’ purity?”

Seriously, these people are willing to go to war against anything. Our thoughts go out to all those future husbands who will have wives that are frigid, horrified of sex, or just want to make it with their dads.

Of course, if this doesn’t work, there are always chastity belts, or genital mutilation. This is war, after all.

–WKW

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