Columnist Cal Thomas discovers a new ploy - scare people into doing what Bush wants!
Tribune Media Service columnist Cal Thomas has noticed how the U.S. Government works, and he’s just horrified about it.
Thomas, but a skipping, naive schoolboy traipsing through the land, saw the 2007 Iraq Supplemental Funding Bill get $21 billion in pork attached to it, and it opened his eyes. There is badness afoot.
“There are laws - even ethics rules - against buying votes in Congress, screeched Thomas. “Lobbyists (Jack Abramoff and others) went to prison for attempting to buy votes and congressmen (Randy “Duke” Cunningham and Bob Ney) went to prison for selling them.”
Thomas, whose thunderous cries of government malfeasance were somewhat muted it seems when Republican-controlled Congresses pushed through Iraq funding bills dripping with pork over the last several years — including $14 billion in 2005 - has seen enough of the defeatism.
“One can hear the cheering in the enemy camps, as they exhort their young suicide bombers to kill themselves, and just a few more infidels, for Allah, because the worldwide Islamic empire is drawing nearer,” writes Thomas, head snuggly between his legs preparing for the next attack.
But wait. Suddenly, Thomas has an epiphany!
“Democrats promised to “clean up” the way Congress operated when they became the majority in January. They are rapidly becoming much like those they replaced, as Republicans mimicked the Democrats they replaced with their misspending and grabs for power for its own sake,” writes Thomas.
Then, Thomas quickly loses that train of thought and stirs up a big ol’ bag of scare.
“The Islamofascists wish to use Iraq (along with Iran) as a base to destroy Israel and from there subjugate Europe before going after their ultimate objective: the United States. That isn’t propaganda or politics; it’s fact. They say it, and prove they mean it, every day,” writes Thomas, ankle-deep in his own urine.
Sweet Jesus! They want to do that? Cal, you need to tell the FBI this info. Or the CIA. Or the Department of Homeland Security. Or, hell, maybe get the U.S. to create a whole new department to just focus solely on this issue.
The U.S. Government is an ugly, staggering monster of a creation, that was actually made into an uglier monster by “small-government” Republicans. The glorious “War on the Terror of the Occupation of Iraq” has been a horrifying failure at every turn.
But being that this is the U.S., the President should be able to have his every whim tickled, regardless of how big a whole he digs and how many dead U.S. troops he tosses into it. Because it’s not about a system gone horribly wrong, it’s about Democrats wanting to feed American babies to the next available Muslim.
So speaketh Cal Thomas, who the records show was born April 5, 2007. He sees the bad in this nation. And he will change it. One scare tactic at a time if need be.
So take it from Thomas kids - government spending is out of control and we must do what President George W. Bush wants. Or Islamonaziterrorists will kill your babies.
Cal Thomas has figured this out, so why can’t 70 percent of the U.S. get it through their thick, surrenderist heads and just be as terrified as he and give Bush whatever he wants whenever he wants it?
It’s a bold new strategy, after all.
–WKW