Bring Civility to Your Blog Posts
May 3, 2007 by William K. Wolfrum
Sen. Joe Lieberman and House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) recently led a panel discussion at the American Enterprise Institute discussing “options for restoring civility in American politics.”
“I think the public is fed up. They feel that both the political parties, mostly because of the primaries, maybe because of attack ads, the kind of divisiveness of the cable news coverage of politics, talk radio, the bloggers have added another dimension of vituperation toxicity to it. The majority of people are sick of it,” said Lieberman.
Now, immediately I thought:
“Wow, what an asshat.”
Then I realized I was wrong in letting my emotions get the better of me, so I thought again:
“Wow, what a huge asshat.”
And I felt better. But then I realized that I was actually part of the problem. My means of communication is overly emotive. When I see Lieberman speak of a kinder, gentler Internet, I suppose I need think, “Wow, that’s well-thought out, civil stuff, using the word ‘vituperation’.” Instead, I think “Fuck you, death-lover.” And that’s just no good.
So, I’ve been putting together some ideas on how to come off as more civil, while not diluting the passion. As I’m all about the passion. So here are some techniques on how to get your point across – civilly:
Question Everything
Say you’re watching CNN and you see Glenn Beck – the face and official spokesperson for CNN – come on and call Al Gore’s work with Global Warming something that’s akin to Adolf Hitler’s work. This could arouse strong emotions in you. But think before you type. By using the “Question Everything” method – which is FoxNewsian at heart – you’ll come off as a thoughtful, civil blogger.
Bad: “Glenn Beck is a fucking ghoul.”
Good: “Is Glenn Beck a fucking ghoul?”
Remember, there is nothing more civil than asking an honest question.
Some People Say
Sometimes, it’s best to push your opinion off on someone else, even if said “someone else” doesn’t even exist. Heck, especially if that other person doesn’t exist.
An example: You hear President Bush talking about the funding bill for Iraq he just vetoed and hear him say “And as you know, my position is clear — I’m the commander guy.” Your first thought is “Our President is a moron.” Now, this is a strong opinion, devoid of niceties. See how much kinder it gets when you allow someone else to present your opinion:
“People are saying the President is a moron.”
And everyone nods and thinks “Well, that’s true, people are saying that.” And then you can discuss the agreed-upon fact that the President is moronic, all the while feeling civil.
Go Small
It truly appears that Republicans are the ones most disturbed by the use of emotive language in blogs. This technique takes advantage of the fact that the average Republican is 78 years old.
Here’s an example of how to use this technique: You read Thomas Sowell’s plea for military dictatorship:
“When I see the worsening degeneracy in our politicians, our media, our educators, and our intelligentsia, I can’t help wondering if the day may yet come when the only thing that can save this country is a military coup.”
You feel a strong need to go off on the guy for being, you know, a fucking traitor. So here’s an example of how to do it, civilly:
“Thomas Sowell is a fucking traitor and completely worthless piece of crap that should be embarrassed to call himself an American.”
See how that works? It’s like code. By taking advantage of the failing eyesight of the average Republican, they’ll never know you’re calling them a bunch of assclowns.
Multiple Choice
Say you see the oft-married Rudy Giuliani say that a vote for the Democratic Party equals death by terrorist. Now, instead of offering a passionate opinion on the matter. Allow your readers to do it for you:
Rudy Giuliani sure is a(n) _________!
a) Authoritarian douchebag
b) Serial adulterer
c) Warmongering fuckhead
d) All of the above.
Now you’ve combined an opinion with cutting-edge reader interactivity – the height of civility!
So remember, kids. Keep blogging your little hearts out, but try and be civil about it. By using the techniques I’ve shown here, you’ll be able to call the gorgon mutants running this country a bunch of maniacal fucknuts, and you’ll be able to do it with civility.
–WKW
Crossposted at Shakesville.com
This blog entry has so much going for it. Not only is one of my favorite subjects of late, you also work in the term “assclown” for the win.
“Good: Is Glenn Beck a fucking ghoul?”
And you can add another dimension to this if you are on TV. While you ask the question, “Is Glenn Beck a fucking moronic idiot, assclown-lugnut”, nod you’re head “yes” ever so slightly several times, reminiscent classic Stone Phillips.
By the way, the answer to the question is yes, Glenn Beck is a dillhole.
This is awesome!
Great post. Lieberman has never questioned the civility of Fox News, as far as I know.
“Some people say” is discussed in Robert Greenwald’s documentary on Fox News, “Outfoxed.”
The use of question marks on Fox News was discussed by Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show.”
This is hilarious and so so deadly on point. Thanks. You’ll be front and center this moning on my humble blog. I’ll be back– I came via Mike Finnigan.
Your tips are all well and good, but what can one do when one is an a site where wordy durds aren’t allowed at all?
I really like that word ASSHAT! It makes me laugh out loud every time!
I got one better. One thing that was spot on was said at the GOP Debate, by Ron Paul, about trusting the Internet more than the media. The man deserves to be watched for saying that one thing alone The crap on cable is nothing but one long infomercial.
I watch zero media. I have 2 kids romping around a small villa, so this garbage is never on. We get the local newspaper. The rest is from scouring the internet, and I bounce the MSM websites more as a barometer than anything, then I dip into reader comments on multiple blogs to see what the real weather is like.
LOL
You forgot the tried and true “No offense, but”
(I now stop people right there with, “I’m pretty sure your about to offend me…”)
eg. …Sen. Lieberman, I know your Wikipedia entry says you were once a Democrat, but, no offense, it seems like Karl Rove slipped you into the party to help Gore lose in 2000…
or
…no offense CNN, but, every time I see Glenn Beck on the screen I think of a zoo monkey flinging feces at the windows of its cage…
And of course, the timeless: “I’M not saying, but…”
as in, “I”M not saying Thomas Sowell should be anally raped with a rolled up copy of the Constitution, but some PATRIOTS may want to do just that…”
In the hospital when they want a stool sample they give you this little plastic bowl with a wide flat rim (brim?). You guessed it; the nurses called it “the hat.” Sorry, but that’s what I think about when you say “asshat.”
Or Joe Lieberman. Or Glenn Beck. Come to think of it maybe all the TV news people should wear “the hat” so everybody will know where they’re coming from.
Excellent post, LMAO. Loved the way you worked in “Some people Say” and my fav words Assclown and Asshat. Thank you and I hope to read more of your work.
Great post. I will take your tips to heart!
The National Enquirer knew this long ago. One of my “pet jokes” has always been how they come up with the most outrageous stories, and then add, “say spies.” Covers just about everything, doesn’t it?
Terrific! Good analysis and funny to boot!
Some people say you are pretentious for just not going by Bill Wolfrum.
And why do Americans use body parts and waste as explitives? We love our dick but we call someone else that to put them down? We love women but call someone a sissy to put them down? We want our girl to give it up but we call others an asshole to put them down? We love to fuck, but we tell others to get fucked to put them down? American men are adolescent ball sacks filled with pusssies, or so I’ve heard.
[...] Did Sarah Palin pressure her daughter? No. In fact, the question is answered within a dozen or so words. Enough following Fox News and it’s devious scheme of making any wild claim into a question. It’s stupid and unethical. It’s time for civil discourse, people. [...]