William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

WASHINGTON - In a move many have said is long overdue, Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani openly repudiated the GOP and declared himself a pure breed Neoconservative.

“After a week of criticism for making contradictory comments about abortion, Giuliani also said he backs gay domestic partnerships that aren’t marriage and the right of states to restrict guns,” wrote Tom Brune for Newsday.

To be a neocon, one must be liberal on many social items like abortion and gay marriage, yet counter that by not really giving a shit what the citizenry does anyway, instead caring mainly about creating a one-party military dictatorship bent on world domination, reports say.

After describing a women’s right to abortion and gun control as “core issues” of his, Giuliani went on to say he envisions a day when the U.S. will be killing foreigners at much greater numbers that today.

“We have to be on the offense against terrorism,” he said. “And we have to be on the offense to preserve our private economy.”

Previously, neocons had worked under a cover of “don’t ask, don’t tell” as their core beliefs of uncontrollable government waste, no ethics, hatred of rule of law and military dictatorship have been scorned by nearly all people of voting age, or younger than 78. The neocons have long held an advantage in that they’ve never had to create their own political party, instead hijacking the Republican party. For their part, average Republicans have meekly rolled over and allowed a full neocon rule of their former party.

The neocon takeover of the Republican Party has created an interesting dilemma for the average Republican, as their party is now fully pro-war, pro-big spending, pro-small government, pro-big government, anti- and pro-abortion, and for and against gun control. They do all believe in tax breaks for the wealthy, however.

By becoming the first openly neocon candidate, Giuliani will likely get support from the 28 percent who still support President George W. Bush. Oddly enough, the U.S. has had a neocon as President long before one openly became a candidate. Bush, while closeted, is considered the “greatest neoconservative in history” as his programs of endless war, massive fiscal irresponsibility and corruption helps him receive 98 percent of his support from those who believe “America should rule the world by force” according to recent Shakesville poll.

Giuliani’s move puts a damper on the upcoming announcement of Newt Gingrich, who had hoped to become the first true neocon to join the fray. Gingrich, who shares other core beliefs of Giuliani’s like stifling free speech, unlimited presidential power and the belief that a real president can completely ignore Congress at his whim, also share’s Giuliani’s belief that the sacrament of marriage is for idiots and that adultery is “sweet.”

Giuliani will officially continue to campaign as a Republican, but many experts say that should be taken with a grain of salt.

“Rudy’s as much a Republican as Lieberman’s a Democrat,” said one source.

–WKW

Crossposted at Shakesville

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 12th, 2007 at 7:48 am and is filed under Politics, satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.