William K. Wolfrum

In a shocking announcement at the White House today, President Bush made it clear to NBC reporter David Gregory that terrorists want to kill his children.

“They viciously attacked us before we went to Iraq, and they’ve been attacking ever since. They are a threat to your children, David,” said Bush.

Gregory’s children could not be reached for comment, nor did Gregory respond with “Don’t talk about my children, asshole,” as would be considered proper in normal human discourse when a sitting President uses your own children as a reason to continue to occupy a nation it pre-emptively attacked, while droolingly talking about the “heavy fighting” to come.

See the video at The Huffington Post.

–WKW

Remember, asking Dick Cheney why he supports an Administration that despises gay rights is totally out of line. This is between him and his daughter Mary. Oh yeah, and fuck Heather Poe and any rights she may believe she has.

Andrew Sullivan pointed out the money quote.

According to reports, Mary’s homosexual partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, “will have no legal relationship with her child. She can’t adopt as a second parent. She won’t have her name on the birth certificate.”

–WKW

It’s not that hard to figure out the psyches of the group of thugs and semi-pro Risk players that have been running the U.S. for the past six-plus years. Take Paul Wolfowitz, architect of the glorious Iraqi quagmire, and former head of the World Bank.

Let’s see what ol’ Paul has been up to this century:

These are the people running the United States.

–WKW

[WKW Note: I had tried to e-mail a copy of this post to someone, but due the repeated use of the word “penis” the spam filter kept rejecting. So then I replaced the word “penis” with “piñata” and tried sending again. It still didn’t work, but now changing it back seems wrong.]

Hello again everyone and welcome to “Movies I watched on My Ipod Theatre” the blog post where we look back at a movie I recently watched on my Ipod, then chat amiably about things that may or may not have anything to do with the film.

Today, we look at piñata.

The Perfect Piñata

“From the dawn of time, it’s been man’s most enduring relationship … ” begins The Perfect Piñata, a 2006 UK documentary by Krishna Govender, as it takes you on a look at the piñata enlargement game and those that need it, and those that just think they need it.

Let there be no doubt that The Perfect Piñata is the type of viewing experience that will have a man pondering his own piñata.

Personally, I’m perfectly happy with my piñata, and it seems as though the one other human who matters in the life of my piñata is happy with it, as well. Of course, it’s by no means a threatening piñata. The type of piñata that stands on street corners, whistling at girls and trying to show how much it can lift.

No, my piñata is the type of piñata you’d take to a ballgame. If you needed butter, and lived near my piñata, my piñata would lend you some without question. It’s a happy, mind-its-own-business, credit to the community type of piñata. If my piñata were a member of society, its name would be Joe and it would be an insurance agent. And when people talked about Joe, they’d say “Joe, yeah, he’s a pretty good guy. A straight shooter.” If my piñata were in NASCAR, it would consistently finish 13th. Not winning any big awards or garnering massive press, but developing a strong, loyal fan base. My piñata would always eat lunch at the same diner, and tip just slightly better than the previous piñata, but not so much that the waitresses rushed to serve it.

But back to the film.

There’s lots and lots of piñata in this film. There’s a young guy who thoughtfully expresses how his inner needs will be met if his now slightly larger than average piñata were even more slightly above average. There’s another guy who started a career teaching people the vast complexities of jelqing at his Web site, Matters of Size. Jelqing is basically the stretching of the piñata as a way to hope that it gets longer. It’s sort of the “If you keep making that face, it will stay that way” approach to piñata enlargement.

“Invest a little bit in your piñata, people, because it’s worth it,” said Mike Salvini, master jelqer.

In the end, what you take from The Perfect Piñata is that there are a wide variety of those that want to alter their piñata. There’s even a guy whose fallen in love with having silicone injected into his piñata and testicles, leaving his testicles at nearly two feet in circumference. It’s the scene, man. Dude’s genitalia looks like a soccer ball wearing a cap. Completely unusable in matters sex for him, but wild nonetheless.

The film does touch on those with actual problems who can benefit from piñata enlargement. Two percent of men have a micropiñata, less than five centimeters. These are men with loneliness and depression, who can benefit greatly both physically and psychologically with enlargement. The film also broaches the subject of those born with mixed genitalia, but doesn’t focus too much effort on a subject that is more than weighty enough for discussion on its own.

Mainly The Perfect Piñata focuses on men who seem to be suffering from a cousin of the illness that some with eating disorders suffer. They are looking to fit societal standards that don’t really exist. If there are underlying emotions of those the documentary spoke with, it’s of sadness and/or a disassociation from reality.

“Wow, that’s what the perfect man should be, especially when you see them with these gorgeous women,” says Dean, who underwent piñata enlargement during the course of the documentary, about male porn stars.

When you’ve come to the conclusion that male porn stars are the perfect men, it could be time to reassess your values.

In the end, however, you get the general feeling of “what of it.” There are risks to these procedures but many men take them willingly. In most cases, it has the same social significance of breast augmentation. Overall, one would wish for a world where less importance was placed on the piñata, but if men with perfectly fine piñatas want them enhanced, understand the risks and have the means, well, this is a free country, even for piñatas.

The Perfect Piñata is interesting and not for the faint of heart. And watching it will make you think of your piñata if you happen to own one. And if you do, trust me when I say this: your piñata is likely as friendly as mine. Have yours give Joe a call sometime and they can have lunch at his favorite diner.

–WKW

Crossposted at Shakesville

Bob Kerrey, a former Democratic senator from Nebraska and member of the 9/11 Commission, has had enough of the Democratic Party trying to keep his country out of the war. He’s tired of Democrats handing Osama bin Laden psychological victories.

We are the Unites States. We will impose democracy on anyone we want. And if we’re going to give psychological victories to a guy who killed thousands of our citizens and got away with it, well, it’s going to come from the top.

The Left’s Iraq Muddle

At this year’s graduation celebration at The New School in New York, Iranian lawyer, human-rights activist and Nobel laureate Shirin Ebadi delivered our commencement address. This brave woman, who has been imprisoned for her criticism of the Iranian government, had many good and wise things to say to our graduates, which earned their applause.

But one applause line troubled me. Ms. Ebadi said: “Democracy cannot be imposed with military force.”

What troubled me about this statement–a commonly heard criticism of U.S. involvement in Iraq–is that those who say such things seem to forget the good U.S. arms have done in imposing democracy on countries like Japan and Germany, or Bosnia more recently. …

Suppose we had not invaded Iraq and Hussein had been overthrown by Shiite and Kurdish insurgents. Suppose al Qaeda then undermined their new democracy and inflamed sectarian tensions to the same level of violence we are seeing today. Wouldn’t you expect the same people who are urging a unilateral and immediate withdrawal to be urging military intervention to end this carnage? I would. …

This does not mean that Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9/11; he was not. Nor does it mean that the war to overthrow him was justified–though I believe it was. It only means that a unilateral withdrawal from Iraq would hand Osama bin Laden a substantial psychological victory.

–WKW

Now that the U.S. Congress has reverted back to form and now does only what the Executive Branch decides, President Bush is doing what he can to keep the War on Iraq going forever. Or at least until early 2009, after which, he could really care less.

Bush has already used a couple of his Presidential powers to keep the U.S. military busy.

1) Invoke the name Bin Laden:

Remember, the U.S. is not interested in what terrorists have to say. Unless it behooves our cause of more war.

“White House: Bin Laden wanted Iraq as a new base”

President Bush on Tuesday declassified intelligence showing in 2005 Osama bin Laden planned to use Iraq as a base from which to launch attacks in the United States, according to White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe.

Johndroe said the intelligence was declassified so the president could discuss the previously secret material on Wednesday during a commencement address at the Coast Guard Academy in Connecticut.

The speech will be aimed at defending a key part of the president’s war strategy — the contention that the United States cannot withdraw from Iraq because al Qaeda would fill the vacuum in the Middle East.

“This shows why we believe al Qaeda wants to use Iraq as a safe haven,” said Johndroe. He added the president will talk about al Qaeda’s “strong interest in using Iraq as a safe haven to plot and plan attacks on the United States and other countries.”

Invoke the shit out of him.

Bush: bin Laden ordered non-Iraq attacks

Seeking to rally support for the war, President Bush is pointing to U.S. intelligence asserting that Osama bin Laden ordered a top lieutenant in early 2005 to form a terrorist unit to hit targets outside Iraq, and that the United States should be first in his sights.

The information, which Bush was to cite Wednesday in a commencement address at the
U.S. Coast Guard Academy, was declassified by the White House on Tuesday. It expands on a classified bulletin the Homeland Security Department issued in March 2005.

The bulletin, which warned that bin Laden had enlisted Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, his senior operative in Iraq, to plan potential strikes in the United States, was described at the time as credible but not specific. It did not prompt the administration to raise its national terror alert level.

2) Get them young

It’s not easy getting adults to truly despise you. By focusing on children, Bush has developed large groups of Middle Easterners that will gladly spend their entire lives wanting to kill Americans. Victory!

“Iraqi kindergarten: Smiles and vows to fight”

At a recent kindergarten graduation ceremony, young girls smiled behind their brightly colored princess dresses and the boys showed off their best dress shirts. They sipped on juice boxes, played on swings and jumped on and off seesaws.

It was a welcome relief from the war that surrounds them. But when these 5-year-olds spoke, it became apparent just how much the ongoing violence has affected them.

“I’m going to bomb, bomb, bomb the school with everybody in it,” said Omar Hussein, as he clutched a pink toy airplane.

At another point, a girl enthusiastically sang, “I give a knife to my father to slaughter the chicken. He gives me a machine gun and a rifle. Now, I am a soldier in the liberation army.” (Watch the children make soldier pledges Video)

The same kindergarten taught up to 180 children just four years ago, before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq that toppled Saddam Hussein. Today, the class has just 16 children, a result of families fleeing the war or parents keeping their children at home, fearful of bombs or kidnap gangs.

3) Hurry and start bombing Iran

Bush has a short time left in his Presidency. And he wants to leave Iran in tatters more than he wants to have a drink. With Congress showing its dedication to him, expect the drumbeats to get louder soon.

“U.S. Military Says Iranian Money, Bomb-Making Material Found in Baghdad”

U.S.-led forces discovered a cache of Iranian money and bomb-making equipment during a raid Wednesday morning in the Shiite neighborhood of Sadr City in Baghdad, the military said. Two suspected militants were killed in the raid and 19 others detained, the military said.

The United States has accused Iran of providing weapons and training to Shiite militant groups in Iraq, accusations Iran has repeatedly denied. The military says Iran has also given insurgents powerful bombs they use to penetrate the U.S. military’s armored vehicles.

U.S. and Iranian diplomats are to hold talks next week about how to stabilize Iraq.

The raid Wednesday targeted 11 buildings in Sadr City, a Shiite slum that is a stronghold of the Mahdi Army militia of anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr. As the U.S. forces moved into the neighborhood, four militants fired at them, sparking a gunfight that left two of the attackers dead, the military said in a statement.

Seriously. Loud drumbeats to attack Iran:

“Bush Authorizes New Covert Action Against Iran”

The CIA has received secret presidential approval to mount a covert “black” operation to destabilize the Iranian government, current and former officials in the intelligence community tell the Blotter on ABCNews.com.

The sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the subject, say President Bush has signed a “nonlethal presidential finding” that puts into motion a CIA plan that reportedly includes a coordinated campaign of propaganda, disinformation and manipulation of Iran’s currency and international financial transactions

–WKW

As Democrats in Congress meekly try and get some a supplemental funding bill to President George Bush that even mentions that it could end, the Administration is continuing its game plan of endless war.

Bush could double force by Christmas

The Bush administration is quietly on track to nearly double the number of combat troops in Iraq this year, an analysis of Pentagon deployment orders showed Monday.

The little-noticed second surge, designed to reinforce U.S. troops in Iraq, is being executed by sending more combat brigades and extending tours of duty for troops already there.

The actions could boost the number of combat soldiers from 52,500 in early January to as many as 98,000 by the end of this year if the Pentagon overlaps arriving and departing combat brigades.

Separately, when additional support troops are included in this second troop increase, the total number of U.S. troops in Iraq could increase from 162,000 now to more than 200,000 — a record-high number — by the end of the year.

The numbers were arrived at by an analysis of deployment orders by Hearst Newspapers.

“It doesn’t surprise me that they’re not talking about it,” said retired Army Maj. Gen. William Nash, a former U.S. commander of NATO troops in Bosnia, referring to the Bush administration. “I think they would be very happy not to have any more attention paid to this.”

The struggle for accountability remains, but the truth is very evident. The occupation of Iraq will continue full throttle until the end of Bush’s presidency. And then, like every other failure of his miserable life, Bush will leave the problem he created for someone else to fix. It’s what he does. It’s what he’s always done.

–WKW

Sports Illustrated has an interesting article on the lack of Brazilians playing in the English Premier League.

Culture Clash

The Premiership is one of the biggest leagues in the world on many counts, but not in terms of the number of Brazilian players plying their trade. According to the Brazilian FA’s transfer documentation, even Canadian and Bahraini clubs have more Brazilians on their books than there are in England. There are currently only five in the Premiership, for instance.

What the article points out, correctly I believe, is that while Brazilians will publicly praise the EPL, they rarely go there to play. And it’s not just a cultural and language thing, either. Many Brazilians are playing in countries like Vietnam or Russia. Wagner, a young attacking midfielder who had just made his debut with the Brazilian national team, was recently sold from Cruzeiro to a team in Israel.

It will be interesting to see if more Brazilians head to England, but I would honestly doubt it, unless perhaps Ronaldinho ends up at say, Chelsea in the the next few years. Overall, England doesn’t really work for Brazilians. Too cold. Different style of play. Different culture. It all adds up to Brazilians everywhere on the pitch but England.

–WKW

As surprising as it will likely seem, I, in fact, don’t know everything about global warming. Of course, I couldn’t tell you how a fax machine works, either, but I also believe in their existence.

So on occasion when people give me goofball alternative ideas to global warming, I’m not intellectually equipped to give the solid, conversation-ending rebuke I so desire. So I’m forced with calling them a “moron” which is in its own way satisfying, but generally regarded as not intellectual.

Luckily for me, New Scientist Environment has come through with everything I need to know with “Climate change: A guide for the perplexed”.

“With so much at stake, it is right that climate science is subjected to the most intense scrutiny. What does not help is for the real issues to be muddied by discredited arguments or wild theories,” writes Michael Le Page, who impressively put it all together. “So for those who are not sure what to believe, here is our round-up of the 26 most common climate myths and misconceptions.”

Here are a couple to get you started:

“They predicted global cooling in the 1970s”

Yes they did. But it was a highly debated position in the science community and eventually the main proponent of the concept of global cooling admitted he wasn’t sure what the future would bring.

The calls for action to prevent further human-induced global warming, by contrast, are based on an enormous body of research by thousands of scientists over more than a century that has been subjected to intense – and sometimes ferocious – scrutiny. According to the latest IPCC report, it is more than 90% certain that the world is already warming as a result of human activity.

“Many leading scientists question climate change”

No. They don’t. They just don’t. The most you’ll get is disagreement of the future consequences of global warming. There’s just too much evidence, and the “scientists” you do see coming out against it generally have an agenda.

Climate change skeptics sometimes claim that many leading scientists question climate change. Well, it all depends on what you mean by “many” and “leading”. For instance, in April 2006, 60 “leading scientists” signed a letter urging Canada’s new prime minister to review his country’s commitment to the Kyoto protocol.

This appears to be the biggest recent list of skeptics. Yet many, if not most, of the 60 signatories are not actively engaged in studying climate change: some are not scientists at all and at least 15 are retired.

Compare that with the dozens of statements on climate change from various scientific organisations around the world representing tens of thousands of scientists, the consensus position represented by the IPCC reports and the 11,000 signatories to a petition condemning the Bush.

Check out New Scientist’s entire list of 26 climate myths. It’s great reading and will give you some valuable information when faced with those who will tritely try and use mythical reasoning to debunk climate change. Then afterward, ask them how a fax machine works, just for the heck of it.

–WKW

Crossposted at Shakesville

During one of the final “elections” in Iraq during Saddam Hussein’s reign, he was crowing about how he won with a 100 percent vote. It was weird to watch, because Iraqis had already brainwashed themselves that this could be true, and were quite honestly thrilled Hussein would win with every, single voter choosing him.

At the time, I wondered how things could get so out of touch in a nation. Then I see how the Bush Administration runs the U.S. and it makes sense.

Case in Point: Bush creates a powerless group to look into civil liberties issues in regards to the war on terror. The group is made up of Bush-friendlies, including democrat Lanny Davis, who is sort of a Joe Lieberman light.

The President’s Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board, as they are called, put together a report, glowingly expressing confidence and outright love for the President’s diverse ways of spying on his citizens.

And then the White House takes it and rewrites it anyway, because it’s just not glowing enough for them. So, Davis resigned from the board, shocked that he was punked into thinking he was doing something that matters. And somehow shocked that the Bush administration gave a half shit about oversight.

So now you have another report, essentially written by the government, telling you that the government is doing no wrong.

The U.S. government will give you oversight, provided they get to be the ones keeping an eye on themselves. And provided you never get to know about it. This, my friends, is how you go from a functioning democracy to a system where the incumbent starts scoring shutouts. While the public allows it to happen.

–WKW