William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

Hi, America. How are you doing today. Sit down, ok? No, don’t run, just sit, ok? This will only take a couple minutes.

America, we’re all here because we care deeply about you. And we see you’ve gone astray, and we want to help you get back on track. Yes we do.

We see what fear has done to you, America. At first, it rightly terrified and repulsed you. Now you can’t get enough of it, and it’s destroying you.

America, will you accept our help? Will you go seek help now? Because this isn’t pretty to hear, but it’s time for honesty - you are a fear junkie.

If you don’t take our help, America, one day, we’ll all leave you. We won’t accept your phone calls, won’t help with the rent, and won’t allow you anywhere near us. Because we know you have a problem, but it’s affecting all of us. If you won’t get healthy, then we have to move on and get healthy ourselves.

Will you do it? Can you let the fear go?

We love you and care about you. So, please accept this gift from us, America. Get help. Now. While you still can.

Signed,

The World

–WKW

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 1st, 2007 at 10:04 am and is filed under Politics, satire, media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.