Dane Cook: I just don’t understand

Dane Cook hit it big after I left the U.S., so I take none of the blame of him getting popular. Seriously, what the fuck’s up with that?

So like, chicks, man, they’re like ham sandwiches. You know. Right? Huh? Hell Yeah. But she’s like “yiyiyiyiyiyiy” and I’m like “say whaaaa??” and she says “yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi” and so, I’m like. …. right? right?? … I’m like, I gotta go, you’re a ham sandwich, and hold the yis.

There, I just wrote Dane Cook’s entire fucking act. Where’s my HBO special?

–WKW