Enjoy H2Om – or just throw your money straight in the toilet

August 17, 2007 by  

Like most of you, when I take a drink of water, I’m a little disconcerted that my water isn’t adding more to the experience. It just tends to sit there in its submissive wateriness, doing little more than just basking in its own wetness. Personally, I prefer water that’s actively making an effort to enhance my water-drinking experience.

Luckily for us all, now you can get “Water with Intention.” Yes, now on the market, proving once again that a fool and his money were likely brought together by fluke happenstance anyway, is H2Om (pronounced H2 – Ohhm, you know, like the chant).


According to the makers, H2Om has taken water to the next level of waterness:

H2Om water with intention has revolutionized the bottled water industry by creating the world’s first vibrationally charged, interactive bottled water.

The people who drink H2Om are individuals who care about health, love, and being positive. People who believe that intention is everything. People who believe in the power of positive thinking. People that understand that the universe is made up of vibrations, and that even the vibrations of a single thought can effect our world.

Does that sound like you? Are you the type of person who read “The Secret” and totally lost your mind at its new age brilliance? Well than H2Om is for you. But don’t just take my word for it. A literal bevy of celebrities, including Arianna Huffington, are sucking down H2Om like there’s no Mahāyāna.

No, Arianna, no

When you drink ordinary water, do you get the overwhelming sensation of gratitude? Aside from when you’re literally dying of thirst? How about prosperity? Well, H2Om comes in seven fantastic infusions: Love, perfect health, prosperity, gratitude, will power, peace and joy.

Plus, as an added bonus, once they bottle the water, they play restorative compositions of music, frequencies, and spoken word to the water. H2Om will not just hydrate you in happiness, it will super hydrate you in happiness.

So this weekend, run out and rent “What The (Bleep) Do We Know!?”, buy a case of H2Om and get your zazen on.

Or just hurl your money straight down the toilet, totally bypassing the middle man. Either way, it will be a truly enlightening experience.



15 Responses to “Enjoy H2Om – or just throw your money straight in the toilet”

  1. dm on August 18th, 2007 7:51 am

    This stuff with “intention” thing must be catching. Tylenol has an ad where people talk about how they “love making Tylenol” and “all the love that goes into it”…

    Too bad for me – I stick with the store brands – apparently there’s not that much love there…

  2. Terrier on August 18th, 2007 8:03 am

    Well at least this pitch is not like most: “You are stupid – buy our product or remain stupid.” Despite all the smoke blown up the public butt and all the whining about participation awards and coddling, most people in this society must have very low self esteem – or why do these ads work? I actively avoid advertising for this very reason. I don’t need anyone telling me I’m stupid when I already live in a country with an idiot as President.

  3. Indigowatcher on August 18th, 2007 8:08 am

    Yes, I’ve charged this ditch water with lots of love. Drink up! Can you taste the mercurial affection in your mouth?

  4. Sean on August 19th, 2007 8:06 pm

    Wow. Between this and the viewer question from the democratic debate today, “do you think praying more will help us prevent disasters like Katrina and the michigan bridge collapse?”, Im beginning to suspect Im already dead and trapped in my own personal hell.

  5. dontomas on August 19th, 2007 8:34 pm

    Amazing how many people do not “get” satire. Me, straight out of the tap or if I am hiking straight out of the creek…

  6. Xooxer on August 19th, 2007 9:11 pm

    This all started with that scam artist, Masaru Emoto. Ever since he said he can “charge” water with emotion, and provided many hand-picked photos of ice crystals to match his claims, people have been touting his work as evidence that foo-foo hippy nonsense is real. I swear, if we don’t do ourselves in by war, we’ll be doomed by our own stupidity. I hope everyone who drinks this mind-job gets a serious case of giardia. Can you taste the love now, starshine?


  7. Agent Smith on August 20th, 2007 1:16 am

    Idiot food. Mind you the marketing dude is in fact an absolute genius. Keep in mind the fact that it is his job to sell WATER (not the easiest thing to sell) and as much of it as possible. If your gonna take someones money, at least take it from the crackpot nutjobs who don’t deserve it in the first place. And for that, I applaud the man for his instinctive recognition of the idiot niche. Bravo.

  8. bociephus on August 20th, 2007 11:48 am

    dontomas, I would agree with you on the satire except that I have been to http://www.h2omwater.com/home.php. This is all to frighteningly real!

  9. Earth on August 20th, 2007 5:43 pm

    I too laughed my butt off- but…
    Look at it this way- They are saying the water is ‘blessed’..kinda…

    SO, are people who use this any different from, oh, about 3 Billion
    people who also pay premiums on ‘blessed’ things?

  10. Sarah Miller on January 6th, 2009 3:47 pm

    Wow. After all of my internet surfing and blog posts, I finally came across a product that caught my attention. Just yesterday, I was browsing the bottled water section at Whole Foods when I came across a new brand with a really cool looking logo and labels that read “Joy”, “Peace”, “Health”, and “Prosperity” featuring instructions to visualize this intent while drinking the contents. Intrigued, I bought some and brought it home. It tasted fresher and cleaner than other waters – and hopefully my chosen intent (Prosperity, of course), will manifest.

    Now, my curiousity was piqued even more so I chose to visit the company website. H2Om has a very interesting story to tell. The water itself comes from a natural spring water source in San Diego, from the 420,000 acre Cleveland National Forest. Bedrock mortars and metates indicate that Native Americans have enjoyed this spring for over 14,000 years – and it is filtered to a depth of 300 feet before rising to the surface through the hardened granite. The company then treats it with UV light, submicron filters it, and cleanses it with Ozone which is MUCH more efficient than chlorine at removing bacteria. The water is then treated with audio frequencies, sounds, music,color and light according to its intended purpose.

    Scientific studies have shown that water is impressionable, and can hold intent or thought frequencies. As our bodies are 90% water, it makes sense to me that drinking this kind of water could have a positive impact.

    Also from the company website:

    “A portion of our proceeds will benefit the International Water for Life Foundation, the Love Planet Foundation, an environmental education organization dedicated to the protection of the planet for future generations.”

    Awesome! And it was reasonably priced to boot.

    It is refreshing to see that this Southern California company is leading the way and setting new standards in the bottled water industry while simultaneously inspiring people to participate in creating a better world by focusing their thoughts on creating positive intentions and eco awareness. So if you haven’t gone to the site while reading this, here is a rundown of H2Om Water with Intention.

    What is H2Om?
    H2Om is a natural spring water, no flavors or additives, bottled in a BPA-free PET1 bottle which is 100% recyclable. The positive themed labels are designed be used as a means to direct your focus towards creating intention. They serve as a reminder to activate your attention and create positive energy throughout your day.
    H2Om’s commitment to you and the planet. First and foremost, H2Om has sourced the cleanest, most pure, high mountain spring water. (see my description above) The water emanates from a 4000 ft elevation and is naturally filtered through a granadorite rock formation. It is then brought down the mountain in a stainless steel transport vehicle, and ecologically filtered by UV light, sub micron filtration and then ozonated with Oxygen 3, the most healthy and natural way to clean water.

    But wait… what about the plastic bottles? H2om’s BPA-free plastic bottle resin molds are manufactured in an eco-friendly hydro powered plant in Costa Rica, and the bottles are made locally in the US at their Los Angeles bottling plant. H2Om bottles contain no harmful chemicals that could leach into the water and are guaranteed to be Bisphenol-A and Phlalate free. The bottles are 100% recyclable, including the polypropolene labels. H2Om, in collaboration with it’s bottle manufacturer, is now testing the stability of an exciting new organic mineral that will be added to the plastic resin to break it down into nothing but water and oxygen after six months in the outdoor sunlight (coming soon). This will mean, whether in the ocean or landfill, the bottle will not contaminate or harm the environment. H2Om’s mission for sustainability is also represented by route managed deliveries, using tree free and 100% recycled papers and products, and having virtual offices, which are more energy efficient.

    What about carbon emissions? In early 2007 H2Om became partners with CarbonFund.org. and was featured as one of their top 20 companies creating positive change on the planet while offsetting their entire carbon footprint. For more information on retail outlets or to order online visit http://www.H2OmWater.com

    I am sort of a bottled water snob, but I do have this to say is, “I think this is a great product. The water tastes clean and pure. I actually followed the instructions and found some benefit to it. I also think it’s cool that the power of my purchase created some good on the planet, besides the good it did for me. Too bad there are not more companies following H2Om’s lead to educate, get people involved and be a part of creating something positive on the planet”

    Try it out next time you’re in Whole Foods or your favorite health food market.

  11. lynstly on January 30th, 2009 6:11 pm

    lol sarah miller, quite a long post considering you missed the point of this completely…. bottled water is bullshit, my TAP WATER comes from an vast ancient aquifer located underground, it’s purified using highly funded state-of-the-art techniques, it makes it’s way through a series of complex copper and pvc tubing, and is delivered directly to my sink! best of all i get to choose what kind of container to put it in and i can even pick the temperature! it always tastes like water too! incredible!

  12. Verum on February 2nd, 2009 9:13 pm

    “Scientific studies have shown that water is impressionable, and can hold intent or thought frequencies.” – Sarah Miller

    I hope you’re impaled by a narwhal.

  13. Ahab on February 3rd, 2009 10:00 am

    “I hope you’re impaled by a narwhal.”

    Well, scientific studies has shown that it’s possible, due to the narwhal’s mood swings.

  14. William K. Wolfrum Chronicles » Blog Archive » Introducing Blogger Hero® The first game for the competitive blogger on September 2nd, 2009 7:24 am

    [...] Player: Did you know that immunizations cause autism? Jim Carrey told me. I think if we all just aligned our chakras and drank H2Om water, the economy would improve.” [...]

  15. Nick on October 22nd, 2010 4:10 pm

    I concur with Sarah Miller. I feel sad for everyone else, including the article’s author. But awareness is spreading nonetheless, and even the US military has weaponized this science unfortunately(do you know anyone in special ops?) & found it to be regrettably effective in war(s). I’m just glad H2Om’s founders are spreading positive applications of it.

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