Breaking News: Jesus Christ trapped in a fence in Lodi
Cornell Barnard woke up yesterday likely thinking it to be just a run-of-the-mill slow news day. Then, the news came over the wire - Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was resigning.
Of course, the folks at ABC affiliate News 10 wouldn’t let him anywhere near a story like that, so he went for the next best thing - covering a big story about a woman seeing Jesus Christ in her fence.
“Lodi Woman Sees Face of Jesus on Fence”
Emily West was doing some meditating over the weekend in her sister’s backyard in central Lodi when something caught her eye.
“I looked up and saw the face of Christ in the fence and I said, “Whoa,” West said.
She called her sister Ana over to ask what she saw. She too agreed, it was the Son of God.
Congratulations to Emily West and her agreeable sister on their divine find. More importantly, hats off to some great work by Barnard, who very likely is on his way to his second Associated Press Best Spot News Award and second Emmy for Best Feature Reporting.
Well played, Cornell. The news hungry folks of Sacramento, Stockton, Modesto and Lodi are lucky to have you.
–WKW
August 28th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
On the Ungay Senator:
My gaydar went off as soon as the guy said “And I have never been gay”.
This is a very odd and contrived statement.
As to Bill’s insistence that he is not gay, I would have to simply call into question the several occasions in which he has hit on me.
Now, since I only know Bill, or rather, am acquainted with Bill via the interweb, these instances could have been a misunderstanding.
But the question, “So, are you into dudes”, would have to mean, barring that he did not think I was male and thus is at least somewhat gay, that he thought I could possibly be a lesbian. The other possibility is that Bill is a girl. Kind of like a “boy named Sue” backwards. This would then mean that Bill is also a lesbian since he has a wife.
Let me now say for the record that I am not a lesbian, and have never been a lesbian. Although if I had to be gay, I would pick the lesbian flavor of gayness. And if Bill and I were both lesbians, I would so do her.
August 29th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
That’s not Jesus! That’s St. Teresa of Avila! Idiots!