William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

AMERICA — Having come to the irrevocable conclusion that the federal government has become a danger to every man, woman and child in the nation and the planet, U.S. citizens today announced a plan to build a border fence separating the federal government from the rest of the United States.

The fence will be an intricate design, and, when completed, shut off the White House, Congress, Department of Justice, Homeland Security, Supreme Court, and all other Federal offices. While some are considering the move radical, research reports over the past several years has shown that the U.S. federal government has armed terrorists, helped strengthen terrorist organizations, allowed Osama bin Laden to remain on the loose, stolen billions of dollars from U.S. citizens, and just generally been a nuisance.

“We’ve really seen enough,” said one high-ranking citizen official. “The government can go on trying to do whatever it is they’re doing, but it’s time the American people contain them once and for all.”

The border fence - which will use none of the haphazard techniques the federal government used on the fence on the U.S.-Mexican border — will be guarded by the family members of the nearly 4,000 troops killed thus far in Iraq and Afghanistan. Retired U.S. generals like Gen. Ricardo Sanchez and others will be in charge of supervising the effort.

Government officials were irate at the proposed plan and quickly attempted to speak out.

“We will not stand for such actions, which smack of communism and …, ” the official said before being cut off and locked in a closet.

Building of the fence will commence next month after bids are turned in by American companies to see which can do it quickest, most efficiently and at the least cost. One sticking point will be that many American companies have simply forgotten how to turn in bids on such projects.

“Basically, everything the government has done the past seven years has been on no-bid contracts,” said an American citizen. “So we’ll have to walk some of these companies through the process.”

While the project will be costly, many expect work to be done for free, and that there already are millions of volunteers showing up with shovels and pick-axes. Some citizens have shown up with flaming torches, but they were quietly sent away. Other money for the project will be collected via bake sales. Organizers have also asked those who were looking to donate to the 2008 Presidential campaign to instead donate to the fence project, instead of essentially just giving the money to big media conglomerates.

Organizers said they feel confident this is the right move, and quickly a “coalition of the willing” consisting of 173 other nations have announce their support.

“It’s really nothing personal,” said one U.S. citizen. “George W. Bush and the rest of the government can stay where they are, pass laws or not, and pretend they’re relevant. It’s just time we boxed them in completely, ignored them, and got on with the business of getting the United States back to being what the Founding Fathers wanted.

“Eventually, in fact,” the citizen continued. “Once the fence is complete, we hope for it to be a zoo-like structure where citizens can watch how a corrupt government works. You’ll be able to toss ‘bribes’ at them and such and watch them scurry about and be corrupt. It’ll be entertaining and educational.”

–WKW

–WKW

With thanks to Liss and The Patty Duke Show

Yes, my wife and I are, in fact, crazy dog people.

–WKW

If a candidate for President puts a hold on a controversial eavesdropping bill that would grant immunity to big telecoms, and no one reports it, did it really happen?

Because at this very moment, the coverage of Dodd’s hold on the FISA bill is underwhelming, if not completely nonexistent:

CNN.com: No Mention of Dodd or FISA

Huffington Post: No mention.

FoxNews.com: No mentions (But ran a story that the bill passed the Senate Intelligence Committee)

National Review: Plenty of Pro-eavesdropping articles, no mention of Dodd.

Drudge Report: No mention of Dodd or FISA.

Politico: No mention of Dodd or FISA.

ABCNews.com: No mention of Dodd or FISA.

CBSNews.com: No mention of Dodd or FISA.

MSNBC.com: No mention of Dodd or FISA.

Google News: No mention of Dodd or FISA.

Heck, no one even is covering the fact that it appears Harry Reid plans on sticking it to his own and going around Dodd’s hold.

For a political junkie, Dodd’s move meant that maybe, just maybe, some politicians were ready to climb out of the pocket of the telecom industries and other donors and start doing right by the American people and the Constitution. Does it all just mean that the rule of law only matters to hardcore political junkies? Is Joe Torre not managing the New York Yankees that much more important than whether the government can spy on its citizens?

But it’s Dodd’s hold is likely to be a completely empty gesture if no one reports it. It truly appears that despite Dodd’s action, the Telecom industry has already bought its amnesty.

–WKW

It truly was looking that there was no politician out there willing to do more than give lip service about fighting for the Constitution. It took a while, but someone has. It remains to be seen where this will all lead, but for this one moment, only four words come to mind.

Thank you, Chris Dodd.

The Military Commissions Act. Warrantless wiretapping. Shredding of Habeas Corpus. Torture. Extraordinary Rendition. Secret Prisons.

No more.

I have decided to place a “hold” on the latest FISA bill that would have included amnesty for telecommunications companies that enabled the President’s assault on the Constitution by illegally providing personal information on their customers without judicial authorization.

I said that I would do everything I could to stop this bill from passing, and I have.

It’s about delivering results — and as I’ve said before, the FIRST thing I will do after being sworn into office is restore the Constitution. But we shouldn’t have to wait until then to prevent the further erosion of our country’s most treasured document. That’s why I am stopping this bill today.

If you believe the rule of law means something, click here to show your support to Senator Dodd.

–WKW

Oct. 17, 2007:

“I’ve told people that if you’re interested in avoiding World War III, it seems like you ought to be interested in preventing [Iran] from have the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon.” — President George W. Bush.

Nov. 3, 2006:

The Office of the Director of National Intelligence said yesterday that it shut down a public Web site after complaints from U.N. weapons inspectors that the site included sensitive details about constructing nuclear and chemical weapons. The documents were collected in Iraq after the March 2003 invasion but predate the 1991 Persian Gulf War.

Negroponte’s office began posting thousands of captured Iraqi documents earlier this year at the insistence of Republican lawmakers, who hoped the documents could shed light on Iraq’s prewar arsenal.

Here’s wishing you all a happy and safe World War III.

–WKW

It seems that one Martin Palmer, a trial lawyer in Hagerstown, Maryland, has filed a lawsuit against Robert Klein, chairman of the California Institute of Regenerative Medicine, the state-run $3-billion stem cell research funding agency.

Palmer is representing an embryo.

According to Wired the lawsuit challenges the right of the state of California to fund embryonic stem cell research, saying that the destruction of human embryos violates the 13th and 14th U.S. Constitutional amendments. The embryos, says Palmer, deserve equal protection under the law and are being enslaved.

Leave it to the right-wing crazies to use an embryonic shield in their battle against science. Now, some will say that attacking an embryo is in bad form. But those people are weak. If we allow ourselves to be swayed by the cute gurgling sounds emanating from a multicellular diploid eukaryotes in their earliest stages of development, than we are not responsible human beings. If we allow this mass of cells to form public policy, then we may as well allow mucus to do the same.

Basically, if these people aren’t human enough to do the dirty work themselves and instead chose to hide behind a mass of cells, than that embryo is fair game.

That is why I question the integrity of this embryo. Think about it, while just little more than a minuscule collection of cells, it has already proven to be litigious. Can you imagine the noise this little glob will be making should it be allowed to become a fetus?

I say this embryo is fair game. If it wants to put itself smack dab in the middle of the political argument over stem cell research, then its every last motive must be checked, rechecked and then examined fully.

Think about it. How is this little object affording attorney fees? With massive donations from such Republican donors as AT&T and Bank of America, that’s how. In the end it smacks of fascism and an anti-science agenda. And this embryo is leading the charge.

In the United States of America, we are at a time in our history when every motive must be checked, and every embryo must take account of its actions. Are we truly prepared, as a society, to allow embryos to convince otherwise rational people to destroy stem cell research and the amazing medical gains it can provide? Soon, politicians will be surrounding themselves with blastocysts, trying to get the public to support a war on Iran. That’s the slippery slope we are on now. All because of on megalomaniac embryo.

So if this embryo wants to put itself in the middle of a political battle, be warned. We will dig up dirt. We will be eternally vigilant in smoking it out and showing the world that it has impure motives and a greed for fame. If 12-year old boys and 2-year-old girls are open prey for political attack, then why should an embryo be any different?

This embryo has taken a stance against science and all we deem holy. It has proven to be an embryo with an agenda. It’s time to bring the fight to it.

–WKW

Do you suppose Halliburton is in contact with Turkish officials yet? Or does Turkey allow no-bid contracts? These and many other questions will soon be answered it appears.

“Turkey approves Iraq incursion”

(CNN) — The Turkish parliament has voted to allow its military to make an incursion into Iraq and chase down Kurdish rebels staging cross-border attacks.

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s government had asked parliament in Ankara on Monday to authorize a military incursion, and the lawmakers responded with overwhelming approval, 507 to 19.

Parliamentary approval, Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan said before the debate, would not necessarily trigger immediate military action and many analysts doubt a full-scale invasion will be launched.

Turkey has already massed 60,000 troops in the region and over the weekend it shelled farms across the border.

But the chances of such military action raises great concerns in the United States, which fears it would undermine the stability of the American-backed government in Baghdad and jeopardize the supply lines that support U.S. troops in Iraq.

And it heightens anxiety in Iraq, where officials have been taking all-out diplomatic efforts to keep Turkey from carrying out cross-border assaults against Kurdistan Workers Party, or PKK, rebels in northern Iraq.

Speaking as news of the vote was announced, U.S. President George W. Bush — who said there already are Turkish troops stationed in Iraq — said “we are making it very clear to Turkey that we don’t think it is in their interests to send troops into Iraq.”

Well, it wasn’t in the interest of the U.S. to send troops into Iraq, but Bush refused to heed anyone’s advice on that. It’s hard to imagine his words of wisdom will be followed by anyone outside the Michelle Malkin / National Review / Little Green Footballs brigade.

–WKW

Remember investors: non-voluntary labor’s greatest advantage is its endless supply. We’re not going to run out of people.

–WKW

Old popes never die, they just return to the world as blazing demons:

“Is this Pope John Paul II waving from beyond the grave? Vatican TV director says yes”

This fiery figure is being hailed as Pope John Paul II making an appearance beyond the grave.

The image, said by believers to show the Holy Father with his right hand raised in blessing, was spotted during a ceremony in Poland to mark the second anniversary of his death.

Details appeared on the Vatican News Service, a TV station in Rome which specialises in religious news broadcasts.

Service director Jarek Cielecki, a Polish priest and close friend of John Paul II, travelled to Poland after hearing an onlooker had photographed the image.

Father Cielecki said he was convinced the picture showed the former pontiff.

“You can see the image of a person in the flames and I think it is the servant of God, Pope John Paul II,” he said.

So remember kids, lead a good life and tithe to the Catholic Church, or a fiery Pope John Paul II will emerge from a bonfire and burn you to a crisp. Now go say five “Our Fathers” and 20 “Hail Marys” just to be on the safe side.

–WKW