Bush Administration Checklist:
1) Blow through budget surplus - 
2) Start unprovoked war with Iraq to steal their oil -
3) Take steaming crap on U.S. Constitution -
4) Make torture a national policy -
5) Burn down the White House -
6) Move to Paraguay - [Pending]
Almost done.
–WKW
Do you ever put water on your dog’s dry food. You know, to make a gravy? I do. Or mix an egg in? I do that too. Left over meat? That goes in there too.
Because she’s a good girl.
–WKW
Fidel Castro, who probably died in April or so, has come from beyond the grave to tell the world that his reign will come to an end some day.
“Fidel Castro letter: I won’t ‘cling to office’”
HAVANA, Cuba (CNN) — A Cuban television news anchor read a letter on air Monday that was reportedly written by Fidel Castro promising he would not “cling to office” or be an impediment to rising young leaders.
Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro as seen on Cuban television in September 2007.
“My basic duty is not to cling to office, much less to obstruct the rise of younger people, but to pass on experiences and ideas whose modest value arises from the exceptional era in which I lived,” Castro’s letter said, according to a CubaVision anchor.
The 81-year-old leader temporarily handed power to his younger brother Raul Castro in July 2006 after undergoing intestinal surgery. Officials say he is recovering, but they have not clarified if or when he could resume the presidency.
Castro hasn’t been seen in public since his surgery, but he has appeared in numerous videos and photos in state media. He appeared in an interview aired in September commenting on such topics as global warming and the price of oil.
About 60 articles under his name have emerged. “Reflections of the Commander-in-Chief” has covered a broad range of international topics, often railing against the U.S. government.
The letter sent McDonald’s stock soaring, as the hamburger chain already has 7,000 pre-fabricated fast food joints ready to dot the island of Cuba the moment they finally admit that Castro is no more.
–WKW
For those of you interested in this sort of thing (and you know who you are) the Golfer Supremacy Rankings year-end award article has been posted at BadGolfer.com. You can find it by clicking here.
–WKW
Not long ago, a report came out about rumors. It seems, once a rumor is created, it sticks. In fact, even outright denials of the rumors, with evidence, only cause the rumor to gather more strength.
Take the “Barack Obama is a Muslim” rumor. Now, just because this rumor was completely debunked months and months ago hasn’t slowed it down one bit. In fact, it’s gained strength. Recently the Washington Post jumped on that lie, giving it more power than ever.
Of course, just because something is a rumor doesn’t mean it’s a lie. Sure, the Obama Internet rumors are outright lies, but there are other rumors that may or may not be lies that deserve just as much attention. And being that the Internet is powered by rumors, we figured we’d through a few out there. Feel free to bulk e-mail these rumors to everyone you know. Maybe they’re true. Maybe not. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be repeated endlessly.
From the Rumor Mill
1. George W. Bush was a coke-snorting, drunken draft dodger who pardoned his coke dealers, among other criminals.
2. George W. Bush is a pedophile.
3. George W. Bush comes from a family of fascists that want to overthrow the U.S. government.
4. The Bush family has built a massive compound in Paraguay, where they intend to hide from the endless array of criminal charges that will be brought against them.
5. Mike Huckabee taught his son how to brutally murder dogs, ala Michael Vick.
6. Mike Huckabee fought to release a rapist from prison. The rapist then went and committed acts of rape and murder.
7. Mike Huckabee had bariatric surgery. And lied about it.
8. Mitt Romney belongs to a religion that believes Jesus and Satan are brothers, that allows polygamy and is racist to its very core.
9. Mitt Romney honestly believes the hysterically stupid story of John Smith.
10. Mitt Romney has an illegitimate, gay, albino son
11. Rudy Giuliani used tax dollars to have an adulterous affair.
12. Rudy Giuliani used tax dollars to have a love nest put in the World Trade Center. He called this love nest the “Emergency Response Center.”
13. Rudy Giuliani does business with Hugo Chavez and terrorists.
14. Rudy Giuliani made millions helping to illegally spy on American citizens.
15. Rudy Giuliani and criminal Bernard Kerik were lovers.
16. Fred Thompson has had more sexual partners than Wilt Chamberlain and brags about his “trophy wife.”
17. Ron Paul is a white supremacist.
18. John McCain begged John Kerry to be his running mate in 2004.
19. John McCain committed treason and fathered a child with a black prostitute.
20. The U.S. and its proxy Israel will attack Iran before the 2008 Presidential elections, regardless what any intelligence says.
Remember folks, these are just rumors at this point. Of course, any denials of these rumors will just make them stronger. Plus, there’s a large voting block in the U.S. that will believe any political e-mail forwarded to them, regardless whether it’s true or false. Because it’s not like we invented these rumors. They were already out there, waiting for the mainstream media to pounce.
So start sending those e-mails. Because maybe they’re true, maybe their false. Who knows? All that matters is that once they get on the Internet, mainstream news organizations like the Washington Post and Fox News will start repeating them. So have fun!
–WKW
Seems the Associated Press asked all the Presidential candidates what was their most prized possession.
Fred Thompson’s answer: Trophy Wife.
While Thompson meant it as a joke, it is yet another example of how right Richard Nixon was in his assessment of Thompson.
–WKW
Nov. 30, 2007
“Pelosi won’t budge on troop pullback dates in war funding bill”
But a spokesman for Pelosi, Nadeam Elshami, said Democratic leaders do not plan to change this timeline or bring anything back to the floor before Congress leaves for the year.
“The speaker has said we will not initiate any funding legislation for the war this year,” Elshami said. “The House has already passed $50 billion.”
Dec. 12, 2007
“Budget deal would probably give Bush victory on war funding”
Democratic lawmakers and staffers privately say they’re closing in on a broad budget deal that would give President Bush as much as $70 billion in new war funding. …
Democrats admit such a move would be highly controversial within their own party. Coming just weeks after House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-California, vowed the White House would not get another dollar in war money this year
“The base will not be happy,” said one senior Democratic aide, who requested anonymity to candidly discuss budget negotiations that have not been completed.
Well played once again, Democrats.
–WKW
It is official: Christmas is important.
Iowa Republican Steve King, hoping to fight for repressed Christians throughout America, introduced legislation this week saying that Christmas and Christians were important.
Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives–
(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;
(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;
The vote sailed through the House, with just nine Democrats saying that King could shove his Christmas legislation up his merry ass. Not to be denied, however, King is set to unleash several more bills, such as:
“A good piece of steak, now that’s good eating.”
Whereas many Americans believe steak makes for a great meal. Now, therefore be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives–
(1) recognizes that a good steak is quite nice;
(2) expresses continued support for all those that like a good piece of steak;
“Air: It’s good to breathe.”
Whereas many Americans and non-Americans celebrate air as a positive thing to breathe. Now, therefore be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives–
(1) recognizes air as a breathable substance;
(2) expresses continued moral support for air throughout the nation;
“Nipples: Some dudes play with theirs and that’s ok”
Whereas many male Americans celebrate their nipples as an erogenous zone and that by no means makes them gay. Now, therefore be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives–
(1) Accepts that men have nipples;
(2) expresses continued support for men playing with their nipples;
It will be interesting to see how these bills effect the publics’ opinion of Congress, which is currently incredibly low.
One thing is sure, however, the Christian, meat-eating, mouth-breathing, nipple-playing base of the Republican Party must be thrilled with Rep. King’s hard work.
–WKW
The most impressive thing about the Internet is that it manages to be the most informative thing in the house, while simultaneously being the biggest waste of time on the planet. How can you not like that?
From the time-wasting sector of the Internet comes this little site here, which posts the last 50 images sent into LiveJournal. Warning: It can be NSFW and it can be oddly addicting. Here’s a couple recent pics:
When nerds collide.
No one liked going to the beach with Uncle Jimmy.
And feel free to take a look at Fuzzy Squid’s blog, where you can thank him in person for having you look at photos for hours.
–WKW
Apparently, George W. Bush has ordered Ram and Hanuman to ignore the court’s request, noting that “as Gods, there are obviously U.S. security issues involved.”
Hindu gods get summons from court
A judge in India has summoned two Hindu gods, Ram and Hanuman, to help resolve a property dispute.
Judge Sunil Kumar Singh in the eastern state of Jharkhand has issued adverts in newspapers asking the gods to “appear before the court personally”.
The gods have been asked to appear before the court on Tuesday, after the judge said that letters addressed to them had gone unanswered. …
Judge Singh sent out two notices to the deities, but they were returned as the addresses were found to be “incomplete”.
This prompted him to put out adverts in local newspapers summoning the gods.
“You failed to appear in court despite notices sent by a peon and later through registered post. You are hereby directed to appear before the court personally”, Judge Singh’s notice said.
The two Hindu gods have been summoned as the defence claimed that they were owners of the disputed land.
–WKW
Over the past several years, the old axiom of “Innocent until proven guilty” has acquired another leg - no the saying appears to be “Innocent until proven guilty, and when guilty, blame the jury and continue to profess your innocence.”
Such is the tact Isiah Thomas and the New York Knocks are taking after losing a sexual harassment and retaliation case to former Knicks’ employee Anucha Browne Sanders. After the jury came out with its decision, Thomas said:
“I’m innocent, I’m very innocent, and I did not do the things she has accused me in this courtroom of doing. I’m extremely disappointed that the jury did not see the facts in this case.”
And yesterday, after announcing an $11.5 million settlement with Browne, here’s what Thomas’ bosses at Madison Square Garden had to say:
“The outcome was a travesty of justice, and we vehemently disagree with the jury’s decision, however, at the strong request of (the NBA commissioner) and in the interest of focusing on basketball, we can all agree that it is time for us to move on and put this issue behind us.”
No matter how nice it would be for the Knicks to put this whole episode to rest, the simple truth is this: A jury found that Thomas did sexually harass Browne. Even Thomas admitted to calling her names and acting inappropriately. But he and the Knicks don’t care about any of that. And obviously neither does the NBA.
That Thomas is a terrible coach and NBA executive should go without saying. His decisions in signing and trading for players have been embarrassing, and the Knicks are currently ranked as the third-worst team in the NBA by ESPN.
But that’s neither here nor there. If Knicks’ management don’t care how poorly the team has been run, that’s their prerogative. But their handling of the Browne suit has been monstrously bad, flat-out bordering on evil.
Just because the Knicks, Thomas and the NBA have decided that the opinions of juries and the complaints of victims are irrelevant, doesn’t mean it’s true. And just because the media hates dwelling on the predatory behavior of male athletes doesn’t mean it’s time to sweep all this under the carpet.
It’s time for Isiah Thomas to be fired. And the entire management of MSG needs to follow him out the door.
–WKW
While it wounds me to no end being a guy picking on a defensive and formerly cool word, the word “bling” has proven to be a word in need of retirement.
This isn’t anything against any culture or any other current slang, mind you. It’s just that after my 67-year-old Mom used the word “bling” like she was part of 50 Cent’s posse, I came to realize that maybe this word has been played out. After all, when do you hear something refereed to as “def?” Or “Groovy?” Sometimes, a word just becomes played out.
Like “bling.” Which now comes in water form.
Yes, the folks at Bling H2O market their water as gourmet and “more than just a pretty taste.” They also run with the “disembodied” female concept of advertising, it seems.
The price for some “Bling?” It was €30 where I saw it at this market in Paris. Yes, €30. That would make it worth $775 (US) or so with whatever the exchange rate is today. For that price, you can afford literally cases of H2Om, which they pretend to infuse with actual human emotion.
Actually, it reminds me of an old joke: “A woman is walking home and sees a couple girls selling lemonade for $1. She buys some and then sees a boy outside of his house, with a table set up. On the table it’s written “Buy this rock for $1 million.” The woman looks at him and says “What’s so special about that rock? You have bad business sense. The kid says “Well, the way I see it is this - I only have to sell one of them.”
In the end, though, what’s most important is that “bling” the word has had a nice run. But it’s time for it to move on. As for “Bling H2O,” one can be pretty sure it won’t have quite the same shelf life as the word that inspired it.
–WKW
I caught this over at TPM, and what really caught my eye was how Robin Cook, the L.A. Times reporter that wrote this story, decided to cover the issue of a poll on illegal immigration.
1 in 3 would deny illegal immigrants social services
WASHINGTON — One-third of Americans want to deny social services, including public schooling and emergency room healthcare, to illegal immigrants, a Los Angeles Times/Bloomberg poll has found.
Still, in a sign of ambivalence among voters about the emotionally charged issue, a strong bipartisan majority — 60% — favors allowing illegal immigrants who have not committed crimes to become citizens if they pay fines, learn English and meet other requirements.
Wow. Now the first thing I’d notice is that the paragraphs and headline are switched - 60 percent of one side trumps 33 percent of the other. The other thing? This line: “Still, in a sign of ambivalence among voters about the emotionally charged issue … .”
Are you kidding me? Ambivalence? No, that’s their “Opinion.” I’m pretty sure there’s a difference. On what the study itself showed, Josh Marshall summed it nicely:
What I think says pretty clearly is that the kind of rabid hostility to illegal immigration and illegal immigrants — which is in most cases, I believe, just a fig leaf for hostility to all immigrants in general — just isn’t a majority position in this country.
But it’s apparently the majority position of the L.A. Times.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum made this statement to all his supporters at 3:30 p.m.:
First of all, I’d like to thank all of you for taking time out your day to read this. Since news of my acceptance of Satan as my One True Lord and Savior has come out, there’s been a great deal of hyperbole and outright falsehoods made of my beliefs and the group I have belonged to for the past 40 years. People question whether a Satan worshipper can be a blogger at a time like this. They question my beliefs as “cultish” and “demented” and “ghoulish” and “stupid” To those people, I just say this:
I am a blogger and I am a Satanist. But I am not a sum of my parts. Whether I am trying to blog about important political and social issues or drinking the blood of a newborn child at ritual in the woods back of the house, I am always doing my best.
And I will continue to do my best for my readers around the world. And I ask you all just to judge me for my work, and be aware that I have no plans on subtly seducing you all into the Dark Lord’s Sweet, Evil realm.
In the end, we are all one people. We are all striving for truth. And whether this life leads us all to an eternity of sucking the Flaming Cock of Eternal Damnation, or to Jesus’s feet, whatever. It’s the fact that you can have religion, or not have freedom or have freedom and have not the religion of freedom. Or something like that.
I know this goes against my previous statement that I was a Druid. That was a lie. All I can say in my defense is, well, I’m a Satanist.
Thank you for your time and I have retained counsel in this matter.
–WKW
