Dane Cook helps to bring upon Apocalypse

As a professional journalist of some note, I keep an eye on things like general news items of the days, and definitions of the Signs of the Apocalypse. You know, to see if anything matches up. Then I’d have a scoop.

Today, that scoop arrived.

“Cook’s 7-hour set breaks comedy record”

LOS ANGELES – Dane Cook has broken a Laugh Factory endurance record set less than a month ago by Dave Chappelle.

In what is becoming a heated battle between the two comedians, Cook told jokes at the Sunset Strip comedy club for 7 hours, beating the record Chappelle, 34, set at 6 hours and 12 minutes in December.

Cook went on stage Tuesday and continued until nearly 7 a.m. Wednesday, and at one point even sent out for food to keep the audience fed and happy.

Just by itself, this one act by Dane Cook has likely accomplished six of the seven signs. And you just had to know that the number “Seven” has all sorts of Christian, VooDoo and other powers. It’s like the super number of shit hitting the fan.

We are way overdue, folks. Religious or not, the fact that Dane Cook even exists is very, very troubling. That he has a successful career means something’s got to give. Face it, we’re boned.

–WKW

Crossposted at Shakesville