Wearing a sunga helps you see the world - and your jigglies - in a whole new light
Hi, my name’s Bill, and I wear a Speedo.
Not all the time, mind you. I mean, I’m not wearing one now, or anything. But at Brazilian beaches, I wear a sunga, as they call it in Brazil. And let me make this clear right off the bat - I’ll show you a picture of me in all my Sungaesque glory the very moment Bush’s bombs create an eternal Middle Eastern peace.
That being said, I’ve grown more comfortable in a sunga. The first time I wore one was in the beach oasis of Salvador, Bahia, and I felt, well, uncomfortable. I was about 20 pounds heavier, and my brain was struggling getting around the cultural shift taking place. Normally while swimming, I used to wear big ol’ baggy swim trunks. It’s the American way, after all.
Then one day I found myself on a beach basically wearing a small handkerchief covering my bubblies. It took some getting used to, let me tell you. But now I feel better tooling about in my mankini. It’s not that I’m in better shape as much as it’s that I’m used to it from a cultural standpoint. If Brazilian and European men can walk around beaches and swimming pools with their peni’s neatly outlined in a sunga, then so can I, damn it. I am cosmopolitan, with heavy accent on the “it.”
This past weekend I had the chance to enjoy some time in Rio de Janeiro (the photo above is of one of Rio’s crowded, eclectic and fun beaches. We stayed in the area known as Ipanema. Yes, just like the song. And I was a sunga-wearing madman.
Do I feel more free? Perhaps. Do I feel more in touch with Brazilian culture? Sure. Am I pushing the limit by asking myself questions smack dab in the middle of this blog post? Absolutely.
But my experiences in sungas have helped me learn, actually. I have a better understanding of different cultures, partly from wearing tiny clothing that truly shows off my inner leg hair. My abundant inner leg hair.
It’s a small thingIt’s a small lesson, but one all the world’s citizens could learn from, I believe. Dipping your toe into other cultures helps you understand how alike we really are, deep down. Americans are notorious for not caring about, or being unwilling to learn about other cultures. Which could be a reason why we as Americans barely blink when our government kills millions of people of other cultures. We are not a culture that walks in other people’s shoes, nor really cares when they are blown out of them.
So men, if you haven’t done so before, put yourself on a foreign beach somewhere where a Speedo is considered proper attire for men. And while you’re busily digging sand from your scrotal region, you just might learn a lesson about life.
Of course, another lesson to learn is that when a waiter says he’s great at taking pictures, don’t automatically believe him. That partial nose and beard you see on the bottom right would be me, enjoying a meal with my wife, family and friends.
–WKW