William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

WASHINGTON — In an intriguing development today on the campaign trail, the Race Card played the race card, leading top pundits confused, irritated, or, in some cases, demanding complete and total partisanship.

“I’m calling myself on all involved,” said the Race Card in a brief statement. “Seriously, this is ridiculous.”

The Race Card has been getting more and more media time in the past few weeks, with some pointing to subtle - and not so subtle - racially charged statements emanating from the Hillary Clinton campaign, as well as from the media in dissecting Clinton’s New Hampshire primary victory.

“There’s still a lot of campaigning to do, and I’m really sick of being used so often already,” said the Race Card from its home in Ron Paul’s wallet. “With Barack Obama’s success as a candidate, we knew this would happen, but we figured it would be Republicans who used me.”

Still, the Race Card said it expected to get a lot of usage should Obama win the Democratic nomination.

“If it’s Obama, I honestly expect the Republicans to drag out attacks that will hearken back to the 1700s,” it said. “They will be evil, and I’ll be exhausted. That’s why I’m playing myself right now on all involved, so they know that we know what they’re all up to.”

The Race Card’s usage of the race card appears to so far have worked. Just recently, both Clinton and Obama have released positive statements about each other, and have made a strong stride in giving the Race Card some needed time off.

“I’m encouraged,” said the Race Card, appearing on the Rachel Maddow Show on Air America Radio.

Of course, while Obama’s race has become something of a lightning rod, Clinton’s sex has been even more of an issue, with pundits hammering on her nearly every move and relating it to the fact that she’s female.

The Gender Card could not be reached for comment, however, as it was busy pummeling Chris Matthews.

–WKW

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 15th, 2008 at 7:01 am and is filed under Politics, satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.