William K. Wolfrum

This year, more than ever, being a Blogger is the most important job in the world, and I say this without a whit of hyperbole.

However, being a top-notch Blogger has many responsibilities. Such as, one must be entirely clean from even the whiff of scandalous statements. There is no way a blogger can get his or her message across if someone, somewhere said something that offended someone else, somewhere else.

That is why today, I, William K. Wolfrum, officially denounce everything everybody has ever said, anywhere, ever.

I take this action because my staff has informed that people can be offended by a wide range of comments from “The Pope is a Bastard” to “Hey Sally, good morning!”

That is why I felt it necessary to what’s now known as a “mass denunciation” of all comments ever made on this planet. Please note, I also denounce my use of the phrases “The Pope is a Bastard” and “Hey Sally, good morning!” and apologize for using them and hope people will see that I was just using them as an example.

In fact, let’s be honest, most the things I’ve written, said, and even thought throughout my life have been controversial and offensive, to say the least. I denounce all of it, effective immediately. I hope my self-denunciation shows how serious I am on this effort to distance myself from all things offensive so that the nation’s dialogue can continue.

I’d like to point out that I am firm in my denouncements. I am not in any way trying to sneak a secret message across to the media, where reporters or fellow bloggers could grab a statement from here and use it as something to denounce me for. My denouncement is all-encompassing, and done with complete and utter honesty, and, in fact, includes a complete denouncement of this Statement of Denouncement.

I hope this statement clears things up about my beliefs of the statements of others. Because during this time of great importance, it’s vital we are all able to focus on real issues, like Eliot Spitzer’s recent bust on prostitution charges.

Note: I also denounce my above usage of the words “prostitution” and “Spitzer.”

Thank you for your time and I have retained counsel in this matter.

–WKW

Crossposted at Shakesville

From Fox News:

The Headline: Iraqi Soldier, Once Loyal to Hussein, Gives Up Attacks Against U.S. Military to Help the Coalition Cause

The Money Quote: “When American soldiers turn up I feel very sad for myself, my country and the fact that I have to sit down and deal with them. I feel like wolves are eating my flesh during the meeting.”

–WKW

Yesterday I got my ass handed to me by my Mom in Scrabble. 345-313. She clinched it about half-way through when she put down all her letters for “Derange.” When we figured it out to be 81 points she said, very sweetly with just a hint of patronizing, “Well, that’s not so much for a seven-letter word.”

“No Mom, it’s actually pretty good,” said I, in a 100-point plus hole that I could never climb out of, as my Mom silently reveled in her triumph. She is sweet, but highly competitive, which is probably why all of us feel she will win her battle with Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

So my Mom is home now again. She had to spend an extra 10 days in the hospital after getting a bad stomach infection due to having a nearly non-existent immune system after her latest round of chemo. Two days ago was the first day she could eat real food again after living two weeks eating only broth and Jello and dropping to about 105 pounds. Yesterday she made her old favorite, homemade chicken noodle soup, and my Mom, Dad and I ate til we dropped. Damn it was good. Then my Mom planted her little body on the couch. “Monk” was on, you know.

It’s great to see my parents together in their little routine; my Mom making sure everything is clean and in its place, my Dad either looking for something he misplaced or telling my Mom which pill she should take and when. Then marking it down. And checking it off. Occasionally my Dad will give his political views which are, well, a little too Little Green Footballs for my taste. But I politely turn the other cheek when he explains how nuking Iran would really settle down everything in the Middle East. Many of us have learned that talking politics with your parents is not always the best idea, and now, with larger issues on the table, for us, political differences are quite irrelevant.

So luckily my Dad’s power to run the country are somewhat limited, and the stuff he does have power over he does well and is as nice a guy as you’ll ever meet in person. One thing I will always give him credit for is this: He owned a trucking company for years, and if all businesses or corporations handled things the way he did, it would be a better country indeed. He didn’t need anyone telling him what the minimum wage is because he always paid more (except to me, when as a pre-teen and teen he’d hire me to unload trucks and pull weeds.)

But he treated his workers with respect, paid them well, gave them health insurance and even matched donations into their retirement plans up to a certain amount. Keystone Trucking Service is gone now, but it was a business he was proud of and rightly so. As an old-school Republican, he talked the talk, but he also walked the walk, and a lot of drivers made some very good money in the three decades or so he had his company.

My parents have now pretty much accepted that a bone marrow transplant is their best and really only option. My Mom is in remission now, but that can only last for so long, possibly not even a year. She will soon undergo more chemo in preparation for the transplant, though no donor has been found as of yet.

We’re having a Marrow Donor Drive on March 29, and if you’re anywhere near the High Desert, California area, let me know and I’ll tell you all about it. I can also send anyone interested a flyer, and if anyone knows how to turn a Microsoft Word document into a Jpeg, let me know, it would be most helpful. And, like I wrote before, if you have any questions or would like to help in any way, please e-mail me at wkwolfrum(at)gmail(dot)com or check out marrow.org to learn more about the incredible need for bone marrow donors this country faces.

So that’s where we’re at. Living life one day at a time as best as possible. It’s wonderful to see my Mom feeling so good and enjoying her life again without any problems. She’s just this happy little control freak who does the “warsh” as a form of relaxation. Like most from Pittsburgh, she’s an interesting one, my Mom.

I just want her to stay around longer. At 67, she is sharp and happy and beautiful. Even if it means losing at Scrabble again and again, I don’t want my Mom to go yet.

–WKW

Hey everyone, William K. Wolfrum, AKA, “The Conspiracist” here. I’ve got some doozies for you so hold on to your hats and here THE TRUTH!

I’ve been scouring my anonymous sources for some time now, and while the “Mainstream Media” does it’s job of showering pictures of Eliot Spitzer’s prostitute on their front pages to keep the Sheeple shleeping, I have uncovered some amazing information - the maniacal New World Oligarchy that currently runs the Western World is planning an all-out attack on Iran, very likely before the November elections.

Hold on to your hats people, this is big.

First, my cousin heard this information second-hand from a trusted source: Admiral William Fallon, the top U.S. commander in the Middle East has resigned. Fallon who recently publicly criticized the Bush Administration’s policies on Iran, and resigned in a hastily called press conference, going totally under the radar on the mainstream media - but not under the radar of “The Conspiracist.”

The subversive underground magazine known as “Esquire” wrote a long article recently on Fallon, claiming “As the White House talked up conflict with Iran, the head of U.S. Central Command, William “Fox” Fallon, talked it down. Now he has resigned.”

The “Esquire” article was written by long-time Conspiracy advocate Thomas Barnett, a shady underground figure who has never been seen publicly.

The White House has vigorously denied that Fallon was forced out. And the part of the White House’s propaganda arm, The Washington Post, had this to say about Fallon’s departure:

The man most responsible for the departure of Fallon is Gen. David Petraeus, commander of U.S. forces in Iraq, the savior of the war and the Bush administration with the surge, the counter-insurgency genius, the Washington-savvy Princeton grad, and a pretty boy called “King David” by many. His boss in the military is Fallon, commander of the Central Command, but from day one of his assignment to Iraq, Petraeus reported directly to the White House, thus circumventing the chain of command and virtually ignoring the views of his superior officer.

The author of this piece, the propagandist William M. Arkin finished his piece by writing “The good news is that with those kinds of resources being committed to Iraq, and with the lessons of the war, the likelihood of Bush and Cheney starting an Iran war is virtually zero.”

When a propagandist like Arkin writes about the New World government of Cheney and Bush learning lessons, you know more war is ahead.

But while Arkin tries to keep the public from looking too hard at the imminent attack and takeover of Iran, other mainstream sources are subtly setting out the Administration’s talking points: That Iran is a terrible, horrifying threat more devastating and dangerous that 50,000 Hitlers, 10 Stalins and a Mao.

– Iran Fires Artillery at Kurdish Villages in Northern Iraq

– U.S. punishes Bahrain bank for its Iran ties

–U.N. Alleges Nuclear Work By Iran’s Civilian Scientists

– Iran’s Nuclear Defiance Further Exposed

– Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran?

By while the U.S. has continued to slowly push the image of a nuclear-armed, insane-with-power Iran that must be vaporized to the public, the little-known Conspiracy Web magazine “U.S. News & World Report” — run by three heroic patriots from an undisclosed basement in the South Indies - writes that the world is not falling for it. According to one of these anonymous patriots, writing under the pseudonym of “Thomas Omestad,” world support for an attack on Iran is dwindling:

The new survey has charted what, for the Bush team and its allies overseas, must be an alarming drop in support for economic sanctions or military strikes on Iran, which despite the passage of a third United Nations Security Council sanctions resolution last week is still refusing to suspend its nuclear work. Compared with a June 2006 BBC poll, backing for a tougher approach to Iran fell in 13 of 21 countries where people were questioned both times.
Even in a staunch ally like Britain, support for those measures fell 9 percentage points, from 43 percent to 34 percent. In Australia, the share dropped 10 points and in Germany 9 points. Even in the United States, the figure dropped from 66 percent to 60 percent over that period.

But take this from me, The Conspiracist - there is a conspiracy out there, and signs still point to Bush and Crew creating more war, more death and destruction. So while election results do have importance, don’t take your eye off this one important factor - The U.S. is still planning to attack Iran.

–WKW

In the legendary debate between Gilligan’s Island stars Ginger and Mary Ann, it is now official who the winner is: Mary Ann thoroughly smokes Ginger:

This undated photo, supplied by the Teton County Sheriff’s Department, shows Dawn Wells, the actress who played ‘Mary Ann’ on Gilligan’s Island, who was sentenced Feb. 29, 2008, to five days in jail, fined $410.50 and placed on probation in Idaho after pleading guilty to one count of reckless driving. The guilty plea came as part of an agreement with prosecutors in which three misdemeanor counts — driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance stemming from an Oct. 18, traffic stop — were dropped. (AP Photo/Teton County Sheriff’s Department)

Party on, Dawn.

–WKW

In my more than two eons as an American, most of that time spent as a political pundit of some note, I have come to the conclusion that the last thing the U.S. needs is another American president. It is my opinion that at this point in U.S. history, having an actual American hold the U.S. presidency would be national suicide.

In fact, since the end of World War II, Americans have become increasingly incompetent as leaders of the U.S., leading us to the apex of incompetence - George W. Bush. This downward spiral shows no signs of stopping. While perhaps a Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton presidency could give the appearance of improvement, in the end it is my opinion that their innate Americanism will ultimately lead them to more foolish decisions that will continue the U.S. on its downhill spiral.

Things didn’t used to be this way. Great Americans such as George Washington, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson helped create a nation that was a grand experiment of democracy and freedom. Here is the kicker, however - none of them were “Americans” per se. They were born as “British Americans.”

You need to go all the way to the eighth President - Martin Van Buren - to have a U.S. president that was born a bona fide American. And what is Van Buren best known for? The Panic of 1837 and the creation of political parties in the U.S., neither of which did anyone any good, whatsoever.

If Van Buren showed us anything, it was that true Americans were inept when it came to leading the country. Since then, there have been basically two American Presidents - Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt that have been worth the paper of the monies of which they adorn - and even they have their detractors.

This year more than ever, with the presence of Clinton and Obama as potential candidates, much has been made that for more than 230 years, the U.S. Presidency has been the exclusive domain of white males. But that issue overlooks the fact that the majority of these white men were American. Therein lies the problem. Because Americans are hamstrung by several factors, including:

1) The inability to refer to the U.S. as anything other thatn “The Greatest Country in the World.”

2) A firm belief that diplomacy can only be conducted with cruise missiles and tanks.

3) An inability to conceive that any culture could be happy or strong if they aren’t modeled after, or run by proxy by the United States, and

4) A complete ignorance of actual American, and world history.
(more…)

Hey, kids, gather around! The Vatican has come up with some more stuff we can’t do!

Vatican lists new hip, modern sins

The Vatican has unveiled some new sins for the 21st Century, such as genetic manipulation, pollution and social injustice.

Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, the Vatican’s number-two official for sins and penance, told L’Osservatore Romano that he saw bioethics as posing the greatest risks for the human soul.

“(Within bioethics) there are areas where we absolutely must denounce some violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments and genetic manipulation whose outcome is difficult to predict and control,” he told the Vatican’s official newspaper on Sunday in an interview headlined “New Forms of Social Sin.”

The Roman Catholic Church has previously spoken out against stem cell research that requires the destruction of human embryos, believing that life begins at conception.

Girotti also attacked drugs, saying they “weaken the mind and obscure intelligence.”

On the growing gap between rich and poor, he said it causes “an unbearable social injustice.”

Pope Benedict has made several strong statements on the environment in recent months, saying problems like climate change had become critical to humanity’s future.

Catholicism has two basic types of sin: Venial, which are relatively less important and forgivable, and mortal. Those can include acts like abortion and murder, although the church doesn’t keep a well-defined list.

Mortal sins can cause a person to go to Hell unless confessed to a priest, who then absolves the sinner in God’s name.

First of all, I’m shocked there’s nothing about piercings, tattoos, or wearing jeans too low, because those things really seem to piss off older folks like archbishops and popes. But, anyway, let’s review:

“(Within bioethics) there are areas where we absolutely must denounce some violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments and genetic manipulation whose outcome is difficult to predict and control,”

Ok, this one is cool because most of us aren’t scientists, and scientists themselves don’t believe this stuff anyway. Plus they don’t say anything about being “cured” from stem cells or anything like that. You see, the Pope is a lot like that lady from PETA who uses insulin while denouncing all use of animals for medical purposes. They talk a good game, but when they’re sick, they just want a cure and don’t care if it came from baby tears.

Girotti also attacked drugs, saying they “weaken the mind and obscure intelligence.”

Well, duh. We wouldn’t expect someone like Girotti to understand the soothing elements of mind-weakening and intelligence-obscuring, anyway. Now go back and enjoy your wine, Archbishop.

On the growing gap between rich and poor, he said it causes “an unbearable social injustice.”

Wouldn’t it just rock to see the Pope show up somewhere with a Che Guevara, shirt? I mean, he’d be a total poser, but it would be cool.

Pope Benedict has made several strong statements on the environment in recent months, saying problems like climate change had become critical to humanity’s future.

Quick, someone call Captain Ed and the folks at National Review Online! Al Gore has gotten to the Pope!

I just love the end of the article though:

Catholicism has two basic types of sin: Venial, which are relatively less important and forgivable, and mortal. Those can include acts like abortion and murder, although the church doesn’t keep a well-defined list.>

Mortal sins can cause a person to go to Hell unless confessed to a priest, who then absolves the sinner in God’s name.

Damn, when you see this stuff actually written down, you really see the ridiculousness of it, don’t you. I wonder if you commit a mortal sin, and then confess it to a priest who just molested a small child, you’ll still be free from Hell (always capitalize “Hell”).

Anyway, what it all comes down to this: tithe, you heathens, tithe!!

–WKW

John walked pensively down the hallway. He was just steps away from the man who had ruined his life. The man who had defeated him every way imaginable just eight years prior. And now he was going to a shady hotel room to meet with him alone. He shuddered. He was afraid, make no mistake, but he was oddly aroused as well.

Karl opened the door and looked past John, as if he didn’t exist. “Come in, John,” he said.

John walked into the seedy room. The smell of Aqua Velva and sulfur was in the air. He walked to the center of the room and began to turn to speak. But Karl was there with preternatural quickness, his breath searing into John’s melanoma.

“Now is not the time to speak, John. Now is the time for action,” Karl said, running his hand through John’s gray locks. “You need me John. After everything I’ve done. After every insult, every dirty trick, you need me.”

John quivered. He knew Karl was right. In 2000, he was a respected politician, a man who had bipartisan support like few Republicans ever imagined. But Karl had bested him, and savagely. Karl had convinced the right people that John had interracial dalliances that led to the adoption of a dark-skinned child. John never bounced back, never even tried, really. He had been mastered.

Since then, he had wandered about in a fog, accepting the loss of the primary and his integrity. He had subserviently done all that was told of him since then. He had backed the President in his every effort, no matter how moronic or how much it defied his natural instincts. Sure, he had kept up the charade in public, but he knew he was no match for Karl, and he would never dare to offend him.

Karl roughly turned John around so that now the two men were facing. ” Look at me, look into my eyes.” John complied, his eyes wide and accepting. “You’ve wanted me for years, John. You know I can get you where you want to be. You know I can either make or break you. So what will it be Johnny-boy? Make? Or Break?

John could not take his eyes away from Karl’s. The moment of truth had arrived. He knew that this man was his only chance, the one who could turn his weaknesses into strengths, the one who could slay his enemies. But he was still frightened, and his voice crackled as he said “Make.”

Karl sneered. “Say it again,” he said forcefully.

“Make,” said John, now eager for approval from the man who had once ruined him.

Karl smiled. He believed in his heart that he could mold John into whatever he wanted now. He owned him. His hands pushed down on John’s shoulders powerfully, and John complied.

“Now kneel, Maverick,” said Karl.

…

When it was over, John, still kneeling, had his head hung in shame. He knew he should feel wrong, but his ability to tell right from wrong had been horribly skewed these past eight years. In a way … it felt right.

Karl sensed John’s confusion and smiled as he zipped up his pants and tucked in his shirt. With one finger he tilted John’s head forward. “Look at me,” he commanded. John, his days as a man of strength now far behind him, did as he was directed.
“You just do what I say now, and everything will be okay, John. But don’t defy me. Don’t you ever defy me.”

John was transfixed by Karl’s stare. He started to wipe his face but was quickly cut off.

“Leave it,” said Karl, his assured tone forcing John again into submission. “I like it that way. Now watch Fox News tonight. I’ll be on with Chris Wallace. And you’ll get your prize for being such a good boy.”

Karl left the room. John stayed in his kneeling position, unable to move. Then he finally smiled. And the smile turned to gales of laughter as he realized that it just might happen. He could be President of the United States. At 71 years of age, kneeling in a dirty hotel room, he finally felt secure and safe. He was now Karl Rove’s boy.

–WKW

–WKW

You know, being a political junkie has its down sides. It’s an addiction that really requires that you open up the door and walk outside so you can see for yourself that the sky is not in fact following.

As mentioned before (and will be mentioned again) I’m in the United States these days while my mother is fighting her battle with leukemia. Currently I’m working with the National Marrow Donor Program, putting together a donor drive which will be held on March 29, in Victorville, Calif. For the briefest of updates, my mom is doing well right now, and her attitude and demeanor are otherworldly. She’s an amazing woman.

My Mom is also a perfect example of an American. Because being here and being away a bit more from the sordid world of U.S. politics and all the hellishness that entails, I’ve come to feel the great need to put this in print, lest their be any doubt:

Americans are really good people.

Now this is a non-political post. Whatever side of the fence people are on is of no matter. And while bad things happen and evil people do exist in the U.S., this is a nation of 300 million. And the vast majority of them are very good people indeed.

Getting reacquainted with the U.S. and looking at Americans, here’s what I’ve seen:

Americans are quick to smile and be kind to strangers.

Americans are hard-working and family-oriented.

Americans are funny and love to make others laugh or smile.

Americans are generous with both time aand money to causes they believe in.

Americans are polite to strangers.

Americans are helpful and carrying.

Americans are good people.

And think about those in the military and those that have signed up, even today. Once again, your opinion of the wars the U.S. is engaged in is not the issue. The issue is the incredible amount of men and women that volunteer for armed service, even full well knowing they will likely be put into combat sooner or later. And the vast majority of them do so because they believe it is their duty to do what they can to keep Americans safe. All politics aside, those in the military are remarkable people.

I very well may end up living the rest of life as a resident of Brazil or another country, but I’m proud to be an American. And I will keep being a voice in the void shouting out whenever I see things I feel are wrong with how my nation is governed or other things I feel are wrong. And I do so because I was taught I should. I was taught freedom of speech is our most valuable right.

I once wrote an essay here titled “We the People are Murderers.” My point was, and still is that Americans need to regain control of its government, and that the actions of the State are therefore the actions of the people. I don’t back down from that one bit, but being around more Americans for awhile does give me more hope for our nation’s future.

Drats. I’m afraid it’s really difficult for the political junkie in me to stay quiet. But my intent for this piece remains the same.

We the People are very good people, indeed.

–WKW