I am 62 percent Muslim, therefore I am 62 percent more likely to be tortured
My friends, it is time I admit to a hidden truth. I am 62 percent Muslim.
I’m not sure how it happened. Deep in my heart, I believe Islam, Christianity and Judaism are all quite similar to Scientology - as cults. The “Big Three” just has the advantage of having been around so long that people accept them as respectable. But they’re all the same to me.
Nonetheless, it turns out I am 62 percent Muslim. Which makes me 62 percent more likely to be enslaved and tortured in a U.S. internment camp like Guantanamo Bay, or somewhere in the hills of Romania. Hopefully, I’ll catch a break as despite being 62 percent Muslim, I am really, really a crappy Muslim. Hell, I’m eating a pork sandwich as I type this.
But I respect the fact that 62 percent of me is a non-believing, non-practicing Muslim. I’m not sure what the rest of me is, but my latest trip to the doctor leads me to believe a good portion of the other 38 percent is pure cholesterol.
Anyway, I just wanted to be open and honest about how I break down on a percentile basis when it comes to being a Muslim. Feel free to find out how Muslim you are at Are You a Muslim?
–WKW
April 30th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
66% myself.
If memory serves correct, I believe you are also part Satanist, Mexican, and Evangelical Christian.
This may make you the world’s first Satanic Mexican Evangelical Muslim.
Glen Beck is a dick. Thought I would just say that for no particular reason.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
If memory serves correct, I believe you are also part Satanist, Mexican, and Evangelical Christian.
I find it easier to respect all religions by being an active member of all religions. And Mexican isn’t a religion, silly. It’s a terrorist organization.
Glen Beck is a dick
Feels good to let it out from time to time, doesn’t it? (wait, did I just pun?)
Bill