Exxon-Mobil offers entire $14.83 billion profit to L.A. Times for Obama/Ayers/Khalidi Tape

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — Exxon Mobil Corp. set a quarterly profit record for a U.S. company Thursday, surging past analyst estimates. The leading U.S. oil company said its third-quarter net profit was $14.83 billion.

In a move that shocked industry analysts, however, Exxon-Mobil has offered the entire $14.83 billion to the Los Angeles Times in exchange for the release of videotape that purportedly shows Presidential hopeful Barack Obama at a party along with Palestinian-American Rashid Khalidi and University of Chicago professor William Ayers.

Reached for comment, Exxon-Mobil spokesman Joe Hazlewood said that the American people had the right to know about Obama’s connections.

“Our main concern is that the American people know the full story behind Obama’s association with Palestinians and Americans with Palestinian tendencies,” said Hazlewood. “Like Exxon-Mobil has always done, we are just giving back to the community.”

Hazlewood denied charges that Exxon-Mobil was rooting for a John McCain victory due to McCain’s campaign promise to give the oil industry billions of dollars in tax exemptions, as well as continued billions in subsidies.

“It’s true that the oil industry traditionally works on a very, very narrow profit margin and that the industry must be reimbursed by the American people both at the pumps and through taxes,” said Hazelwood. “But really, this is all about Obama’s associations and keeping the United States from sliding even further toward a socialist nightmare.”

McCain, who worked jointly with Kahlidi on a project called the Palestine Center, said he completely supports Exxon’s offer and that the truth of Obama’s relationship with Kahlidi must come to light.

“I am extremely experienced when it comes to Rashid Khalidi,” said McCain. “I’ve met him, have given him money and supported his anti-Israel projects. So I know just how terrible he is and I thank Exxon for attempting to get the truth out about his work with Obama.”

–WKW