Dear Barack Obama: Can we start killing Conservatives, aborting full-term babies and acting like communist Islamofascists yet?
November 3, 2008 by William K. Wolfrum
Conservatives, come tomorrow, you are all going to die and The United States of America will instantly transform into the United Socialist States of Islamic Baby Eaters. And with the blood of your newborn children running down our chins, we – the victorious – will all simultaneously pray to Allah as Barack Obama summons Satan and all the horrific things from Revelations (the only part of the New Testament any of you have read) will come true in all its flaming, semen-drenched glory.
Good times, baby-eaters, good times.
We liberals all know that we are soon to live in a conservative-free world where everyone’s gay – except for the gays who will be double-gay – and where babies can be legally aborted up to the age of 17. We know that soon we will all be free to marry pandas and then force the pandas to abort their babies and have hot, gay panda-on-panda orgies while we all masturbate furiously in church.
We know this because conservatives have made it clear that’s what’s going to happen should Barack Obama become President.
Yes, Conservatives, you have made it clear that Barack Obama is the anti-christ. That Obama is a Marxist. That Obama is a baby-killer. That Obama is a terrorist. That Obama is a secret Muslim. That Obama is Malcolm X’s illegitimate son. That Obama’s a Black Panther. That Obama is Hitler. That Obama is going to kill Israel. That Obama serves Lucifer. That Obama is all these things and much, much more.
So Conservatives, starting tomorrow we’ll be enslaving your dogs, defecating on your guns and making sweet, sweet homosexual love to Islamofacist Satanist baby-killers. We know all this will happen because so many of you believe that a victory by the other party in America’s two-party system will be the end of the planet as we know it. We know it will happen because your radical behavior before this election, and the because of the even-more radical behavior so many of you are sure to showcase after the election.
Luckily for Conservatives, we liberals believe in America, as well. We believe in Democracy. We believe that even if John McCain somehow wins the Presidency, America will live on. We believe in Americans. Even though so many Conservatives don’t.