I am far too important to be part of Blogroll Amnesty Day
January 31, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum
Not long ago, I became one of the most important bloggers in the known universe. I was featured in the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Witchy Woman, and numerous other national and international publications. It was a great time for me, as well as a turning point in my career. Finally the stars had aligned. I had made it and I no longer had to care about less popular bloggers.
That’s why, when I received word from Blue Gal, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo and Jon Swift about Blogroll Amnesty Day, I was furious. Why would they think that I, now a massive presence in the blogging world, care about Blogroll Amnesty Day?
Blogroll Amnesty Day is a three-day long concert held in the woods of upstate New York. There, like-minded people get together, groove to music, do copious amounts of drugs and learn to live in a communistic setting of peace and sex.
Wait, that was Woodstock. Easy mistake.
Actually, Blogroll Amnesty Day is a chance for liberal bloggers to write a post and link to up to five smaller blogs, in order to get more in the habit of linking to smaller blogs throughout the year, do copious amounts of drugs and learn to live in a communistic setting of peace and sex.
On the surface, it’s a nice enough plan. For other bloggers, of course. Because while I readily admit that there are a lot of talented and dedicated bloggers out there that toil in near-complete obscurity, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for me to be involved. As I mentioned before – thus making it fact – I am one of the most important bloggers in the known universe now. I get to attend all the big blogger parties, and hang out with big-time bloggers like Boatboy. For me to reverse fields now and give attention to blogs with less readership than mine would just be foolish. If they want inclusion in my blog, they need to also become incredibly important bloggers.
I am living proof this can be done. And I am not alone. Through the years other bloggers have broken away from the field and become huge mega-stars in their own right. Bloggers like Dgun, Margalis, Chet Scoville, Historiann and Phillip Barron have all broken free from the chains of obscurity and have become big stars in their own right. Not as big as me, mind you, but big enough to be noticed and appreciated by the masses.
In conclusion, let me just say that I’m insulted that Blogroll Amnesty Day was even brought to my attention. My importance as a blogger makes it impossible for me to be involved, and the only real interest I have in smaller bloggers is that they get my order right when I dine in a restaurant where they happen to work.
Me involved in Blogroll Amnesty Day? What a joke. Atrios will really get a kick out of this at the next party that you aren’t invited to.