Michael Phelps must be arrested and publicly shamed for smoking pot
February 1, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum
At the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, Michael Phelps was the greatest American hero. By winning eight gold medals in swimming, Phelps once again proved the United States is a nation of superhumans that can not and will not be defeated. Ever.
Now, however, we realize the sickening truth about Michael Phelps. He’s a pothead.
Yes, Phelps, who less than a year ago was held up as the perfect specimen of human, as a man who every woman had the responsibility to sleep with, has let us all down. He is an out-of-control drug addict, sucking up cannabis at any and every opportunity. It is only a matter of time until he self-destructs completely and is found dead covered in Fritos and pepperoni.
Michael Phelps’ collapse into utter depravity does not just taint his swimming records and the sporting world. No, it affects all of humanity. Because it’s not like he was a naive Olympian who succumbed to peer pressure. It is far, far, far worse. As the News of the World reported – Phelps “looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits.”
Basically, it comes down to this – Michael Phelps is a fraud. Behind that crooked-toothed smile is a dope fiend. A maniacal drug addict only out for personal pleasure. A man so removed from reality that he didn’t even lie about the marijuana allegations like a normal person. Marijuana has left him a shell of his former self and left the world heartbroken and sobbing.
Michael Phelps had a choice – he could have drank himself into oblivion and partied like a normal person. Instead, he inhaled marijuana. So instead of being a lovable playboy who the world can admire, he is a pothead who only deserves our scorn. For the sake of our children, it is time to take all of his freedoms away. It is the only way the world can heal.
–WKW
Make marijuana legal.
1. It will save us tons of money in terms of criminal justice.
2. Law enforcement can be freed to pursue other crime, like littering for example, which is way more important and more harmful IMO.
3. It will also be one less reason for a cop to fabricate a reason to search your vehicle or person.
4. It would be a booming industry from which collected taxes would wipe out our national debt in no time, whilst taking away business from the alcohol industry, alcohol being far more dangerous and harmful.
Byw, believe it or not, I have never, not a single time, smoked marijuana. I’m ashamed to admit that I did go on a mass littering spree once. Of course I was drunk at the time, so…
I have never, not a single time, smoked marijuana.
I admit to nothing.
# 4 is a big one to me. You could sin tax the hell out of pot and people would still pay. Plus you charge fees for growing it, for selling it, etc.
Booze is the ultimate gateway drug. Plus you’re more likely to get violent or get into other trouble while drunk. Very few stoners go on shooting sprees.
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