Conservatives must all work tirelessly to prove Barack Obama is not a U.S. citizen

I’m about to let you in on a little secret that will very likely cost me thousands and thousands of dollars. Because after I admit this, the spectacular funding I receive from Daily Kos, Media Matters, MoveOn and George Soros will dry up like paint in the Arizona sun. But I must do it. For I am an American before all else:

Barack Obama is not a U.S. citizen and his rise to the Presidency is unlawful, unconstitutional and immoral.

I know this, of course, because I am liberal. All liberals are aware of these facts. But we are beholden to higher authorities and won’t admit it to anyone. Plus, we all hated George W. Bush with such an irrationality, that we’d have voted in Jacques Chirac just to mess with the heads of Conservatives.

I can’t really say much more about this, but I can verify some conspiracies:

The Facts

• The Hawaii Department of Health refuses to verify that Obama was born in Hawaii – True.
• The birth certificate given out for Obama by Hawaii is a fraud – True.
• This nation is headed toward a vortex of a constitutional crisis. – True.
• The divorce decree for Barack Obama’s father and mother indicates they had ‘one child under the age of eighteen, born in Kenya.’ True.
• Obama traveled to Hawaii before the election to force Hawaii officials to alter his fake birth certificate, not visit his ailing grandmother. True.
• Republicans have Obama’s real birth certificate. True.
• Barack Obama helped Congress approve John McCain’s citizenship issues, which helped get him off the hook to have to produce any documentation himself. True.
• Obama is both a US and a Kenyan citizen – True.
• The birth announcement in the Honolulu Advertiser on Aug. 13, 1961. was planted by Obama’s grandparents just in case their grandson needed to prove his U.S. citizenship in order to run for president someday. – True.
• In 1961, newspaper birth announcements like Obama’s came directly from the Vital Statistics Office as reported by local hospitals. True.
• Obama is a British citizen due to his father’s British citizenship. True.
• When Obama immigrated to Indonesia, he lost his US citizenship, while getting Indonesian Citizenship, since Indonesia does not allow dual citizenship. Obama reaffirmed his Indonesian citizenship and therefor relinquished his US citizenship yet again as an adult, while studying at Occidental College and traveling to Pakistan. True.
• Obama was adopted by Lolo Soetoro and because of this he lost U.S. citizenship. Obama was known as “Barry Soetoro” for a few years – True.
• The American news media are aiding and abetting Mr. Obama in defrauding 300 million American citizens. True.
• Obama will soon begin to mobilize his unconstitutional ‘standing army of youthful activists’ and then give Amnesty to 20+ million illegal aliens and our hospitals will collapse; our $US dollar is to be converted to the North American ‘Amero’; and we citizens will begin answering to foreign courts and governments; then Martial Law will be declared. True.
• Chief Justice Roberts intentionally misspoke during Obama’s swearing in because Roberts is in on the whole thing. True.
• Obama murdered his grandmother to keep her from speaking out about him. True.

All of it is true. Even the things that contradict each other. Especially the things that contradict each other. That is because Barack Obama is the most notorious criminal in the history of this planet. And he must be stopped. I’d help if I could, but I’m a liberal and I’m in enough trouble as it is. This job requires conservatives. Many, many conservatives, working around the clock, day after day, year after year, thinking only of Barack Obama’s birth.

Conservatives, it is up to all of you. It is time you all came together for a common cause and end this Obama charade. You must prove that Obama is, in fact, a British-Kenyan-Indonesian-Pakistan So get to your computers and stay there. Day after day, year after year. This is the only project worth anything, because if the Presidency is tainted, it’s only a matter of time before the Islamacists come and take over. And then America will die.

So Conservatives, it is time for you to come forth and start Web sites devoted only to the Obama citizenship issue . Because, in all sincerity, I truly believe you’ll all be doing this nation an incredible favor by doing nothing else but chasing around this conspiracy.

Thank you, and God Bless.

–WKW