Sperm industry comes to the rescue during economic crisis

Tough economic times like these force everyone to cut back. Families around the U.S. are sitting at their family room table, pouring over bills, desperately searching for where they can make cuts.

Luckily for many Americans, those cuts won’t have to include sperm.

Yes, for the sperm-needy amongst us, the sperm bank Xytex International is offering crazy, clearinghouse discounts on its gallons of warm, ready-to-bake sperm. Because despite the economic downturn, Xytex is literally over-flowing with generic, just-some-dude sperm, and it’s ready to let the savings drip on down to you.

Select donors are a new level of donor which we introduced to try to help our clients who are interested in third-party reproduction but, with the tough economy, are having a little bit of trouble purchasing a regular donor,” Xytex spokeswoman Danielle Moores told AFP.

Select donors, explained Moores, are men from whom Xytex has “many, many vials because they’re very successful donors or able to stop in several times a week or — for whatever reason, we have a huge inventory,” and it is being made available in a sort of clearance sale.

Xytex prefers to call it the balancing effect of supply and demand.

“Select donors haven’t reached the end of their shelf-life, they’re just over-produced,” Moores said.

Select donor units run between 250 and 350 dollars, representing a savings of between 135 and 235 dollars on comparable vials from a standard Xytex donor, which start at 385 dollars and go up to 585 dollars.

So folks, remember, during these hard times, it’s up to Americans to make things better in America. Xytex International is heeding that call. So if you’re looking for some good sperm – but not too good of sperm, give Xytex a call. They’re ready to come give you a hand.

–WKW

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