In Brazil, April 21 is a national holiday known as Tiradentes. Joaquim José da Silva Xavier – known as Tiradentes. From my wife’s home state of Minas Gerais, the dentist was brutally martyred, but he started a fire that couldn’t be contained.
From Wikipedia:
Joaquim José da Silva Xavier, known as Tiradentes (August 16, 1746–-April 21, 1792), was a leading member of the Brazilian seditious movement known as the Inconfidência Mineira whose aim was to shake off the Portuguese colonial power and create an independent Brazilian republic. When the plan was discovered, Tiradentes was arrested, tried and executed. Since the 19th century he has been considered a national hero of Brazil.
And while it’s impossible not to respect the bravery and heroics of Tiradentes, the fact is that there were no photos or even paintings of him during his life. So, he’s adopted a rather Christ-like appearance:
Regardless, Tiradentes is to be respected and is a true Brazilian hero. I have been to the city of Ouro Preto, where he was hanged, and have seen the statue placed there in his honor.
Kate did a tremendous job on the show and smartly pushed the issue – why is the customer always right unless they’re fat? Head on over to Shapely Prose to join in on the argument. Also, if you’re interested in pre-ordering her upcoming book “Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce with Your Body” (coming in May), head on over to Powell’s Books.
During the 2008 elections, Christopher Buckley took a principled stand and chose to support Barack Obama over John McCain. Of course, his principles led to him being immediately dropped by the National Review – the magazine his father started – as well as making him Public Enemy No. 1 to the all-important and ever-growing far-right base of the Conservative movement.
But Buckley appears to be determined to win back the erratic and perpetually outraged far right. Today, he did his best to turn U.S. torture into fodder for a humor column:
As the CIA sets about the revising its Interrogation Manual—that will be a fun project—here are some suggestions for up-to-date techniques that will have the dastards crying “Uncle!” in no time.
Traffic Jamming Subjects are placed in cars and made to endure daily commutes of up to four hours, five days a week. Technique may be enhanced by alternating the interior temperature by means of A/C and heat; also by having radio set to Rush Limbaugh radio show or Christian Broadcasting stations at high volume.
Telephoning Subjects are given rotary dial telephones and told that they will be released if they call a certain number and follow the prompts, which will instruct them to “press” various numbers. As subjects dial the numbers, the prompts will respond that their did not understand and repeat their instruction.
Note the trademark conservative lack of wit and feelings. Buckley has shown he is as disconnected from humanity as the likes of GOP kings like Sean Hannity, and we wish him nothing but the best in his drive to return to the good graces of the far right base. Still, we must warn him that Republican leaders like Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter may not be able to remember an actual fact to save their lives, but they never forget when any conservative steps out of line and holds differing opinions.
William K. Wolfrum made this statement to his supporters at 3 p.m.
“My friends, I have long taken responsibilities for my actions. Despite this, many have come after me for purely political reasons. And while I understand that in the political sphere there are often skirmishes that can’t be avoided. Nonetheless, now is not the time for retribution. Now is the time for reflection.
Yes, it is time to reflect on some of my past actions. It’s time to reflect upon the time I was in that car chase for going 120 mph in my Honda Civic on the 60 Freeway in Pomona, Calif. Trust me, I have long reflected on how my car spun out of control after hitting the strip of nails the CHP laid out in the freeway to stop me. And it’s time to reflect how I somehow got away.
It’s time to reflect on that liquor store I robbed at gunpoint in Laughlin, Nev. I often reflect on the look of fear on the clerks face as I ripped $83.75 out of the cash register. And even now I reflect on whether the clerk defecated himself out of fear, or if that was pure adrenaline I smelled.
And now, more than ever, it’s time to reflect on that guy I shot dead during a routine heroin deal in Calexico, Calif. It’s time to reflect on the fact that, yes, if you short me, I will, in fact, shoot you in the head, then travel to Mexico to kill your family, your dog, your church and then burn your house down. But let us not look back in anger.
More than anything, however, it’s time to reflect on that time I abducted a family of four and, shoved cashews under their fingernails, attached electrodes to their genitals and then slammed them against the wall until they were unconscious. Just because I could. Let’s all sit back and reflect on that for a moment.
My friends, this is not a time for retribution. It’s a time for reflection. It is not a time to use our energy and our time in looking back, and in a sense of anger and retribution. We have a lot to do to protect America. And to come after me now would only increase the partisan chasm in this great nation of ours.
Can I say that I will never commit these actions again? Of course not. I am what I am, and it will definitely happen again, just as soon as I feel confident I can get away with it again. There will be more victims, whose lives will be ruined by my tyrannical actions. But take my word for it, these people deserve it, and in my own way, I have made America a safer place. To turn these issues into a partisan witch-hunt would only damage the national psyche and strengthen our enemies.
So let’s look forward. Not too far forward, of course. Say, six months. Ok, three. Let’s all look forward toward a three-month period of peace, understanding and non-partisan reflection. Because history has shown us that I’ll just do it all again, anyway. So reflect on that.
Thank you for your time and I have retained counsel on this matter.”
The gritty young capitalists of Exxon Mobil have made it all the way back. After spending an entire year as the No. 2 corporation in Fortune’s 1000, they have regrouped, doubled their efforts and fought back to the No. 1 spot. Exxon took in $442.85 billion in revenue last year, up almost 19 percent from 2007. The company also raked in the biggest annual profit, earning $45.2 billion.
It was obviously a grassroots efforts for Exxon, as people from all political persuasions emptied their pocketbooks to assure them of this stunning victory. Most experts claim that 2007 was likely the most humiliating in the corporation’s history, as it was forced to sheepishly admit that it made just $40 billion in profits.
Oooh. Rahm has maybe dropped something accidentally definitive here. Asked about prosecutions, he starts to answer that the field agents who carried out the techniques should not be prosecuted, and that this is the belief of the president. GS asks, “What about the people who designed the policies?” And Rahm says that the President doesn’t support their prosecution either. This shuts a door that was left open by the White House last week, in which the potential prosecution of the people who constructed the torture regime was still on the table. Now it appears that it’s not. That’s big news.
After Republicans take back control of the White House at some point, they’ll be happy to know that just like every other Republican Administration, the rule of law just does not apply to them. Unfortunately for Obama, he hasn’t seemed to notice that the rule of law always applies to Democratic Presidents. But I suppose he’ll find that out when Republicans find any inkling of a reason to try and impeach him.
The Democratic Party – still the best defenders of Republican criminals.
TEHRAN, Iran (CNN) — Roxana Saberi, the American journalist convicted of espionage charges in Iran, has lost weight in prison but is being treated well, her father said Sunday.
“She has lost weight and she looks frail and weak,” Reza Saberi said. “She says she’s not treated harshly. The food is pretty good and they’re not hurting her. So it’s just the environment of the prison that’s very frustrating.”
Saberi, 31, an Iranian-American from North Dakota, was sentenced Monday to eight years in prison after a one-day trial that was closed to the public. The decision prompted sharp denunciations from political and media officials in the United States and abroad.
Saberi’s father said Sunday that her lawyer has 20 days to file an appeal.
“Then we will wait for the decision of the next court, the court of appeals, and see what they decide,” Saberi’s father said. “We cannot do anything until they make a decision.”
From what I’ve seen, the left has been remarkably quiet on the subject of Saberi’s imprisonment. The progressive blogosphere can make a difference in this situation, rather than the hypocritical right or even the Obama Administration that will argue for Saberi’s freedom out of one side of their mouth while denying habeas corpus rights to non-Americans as they deem fit.
While a few on the left are beginning to make noise about Saberi’s imprisonment, it’s time for more liberals to add their voices. Free Roxana Saberi.
When Barack Hussein Obama gave into the terrorists and allowed the publishing of the secret interrogation methods our brave men in the CIA have used since terrorists attacked us in 2001, he sentenced us all to horrifying deaths.
Since Sept. 11, America has been on the offensive. From the moment the Arab terrorists attacked us, we as a nation stood behind President George Walker Bush and gave him our full confidence. And President Bush kept us safe as he first took out the Taliban in Afghanistan, and then took out the al Qaeda sleeper cells long hidden in Iraq, along with their leader, Saddam, winning the battle there.
But that was the easy part. Winning those two wars was just the start. Now, more than ever, America is in peril and is being attacked at all levels. And the only thing that has kept us safe has been the freedom to pry information out of terrorists in the most effective way.
When I first came up with the idea of this “Get to Know Bill” series, I figured it would be a cute way to showcase some of my quirks, as well as give readers a chance to know more about me.
Instead, it’s apparently become an outdoors show where everyone gets to a chance to see what a huge coward I must be. Remember, I never said that getting to know me was going to be a pleasant experience.
Nonetheless, it’s slightly disconcerting to me that I went from a kid who once enjoyed nature and even made a living working on the ocean, to a guy now who more or less flees from anything non-human that doesn’t bark.
Which brings us to Part 2:
Get to Know Bill, Part 2: Adventures with a Ratdog
Not long after waking up, I was checking e-mail and catching up on news when I heard my wife shriek. This isn’t all that abnormal, as my wife is Brazilian, and they are as shrieking a people as you can find. But then she started shrieking for me to come help her.
As it turns out, my Australian Shepherd Duchess – a dog totally oblivious to the fact that there’s evil in this world – was checking out some type of creature that had commandeered our washing machine. When my wife started shrieking, Duchess became convinced that this creature was the most wonderful thing ever, and she wanted it more than ever.
My wife was getting Duchess away from said creature when I arrived. What I saw shook me to my very center. It was this huge, rat-like creature. If one of my Boston Terriers had stumbled across it, I am sure the creature would have devoured them. It was part rat, part dog it seems. It was a ratdog, I was convinced.
My wife immediately gave her standard order in such situations: “Kill it.” Now, the problem with that plan was twofold. One, killing it would be akin to killing a goat. Or a large cat, at very least. I would just be a horrendous bloodbath that would likely change me forever, turning me into some mindless killing machine. And two, I wasn’t completely positive that this wasn’t a supernatural creature of some type that couldn’t die.
This thing had a long, hideous tail. Being I’ve already made it clear that I’m terrified of rats, you’ll have to take my word for it that I’m extremely terrified of HUGE rats. So I made a few half-hearted efforts at chasing it off, or trapping it in a bucket, but honestly, I was pretty much completely worthless.
So my wife called the people you call here that take care of such things, and they told us that it was, in fact, a skunk, and more or less harmless, and that it would wander off on its own, and that we’d better not kill it.
(An aside: Brazil has very strong animal protection laws. I’ve been told that if you illegally kill an animal and see a warden coming, your best move would be to kill the warden also, such is the trouble one can get into for illegally killing an animal.)
So I, and the skunkdog, survive another day. Come back next time for “Get to Know Bill, Part 3″ when I detail how I can go from grown man to thumb-sucking fetus upon seeing a strange bug.
So last night, my wife and I were enjoying a small evening meal and watching “Trading Spaces” or “Extreme Makeover” or “Oprah.” It was one of those shows where people try to make other people’s life better by building something or by telling them what books they should be reading.
Then, without any warning whatsoever, two bats flew in a small window. They were traveling at some ungodly speed … literally moving like bats out of hell. We both shared one fairly peaceful moment of “Hmm, how about that?” when we realized they were, in fact, bats.
And then the Mr. Bean skit ensued.
We totally freaked, me even worse that her. We live in a fairly bat-infested area, but for the most part, they don’t bother us, so we don’t bother them. However, I had long ago warned my spouse that if said bats ever entered the house, I would lose it. Because while I have a love for all living things, bats are, in essence, flying rats, and I’m terrified of rats. Put wings on them and it’s flat-out the apocalypse.
So my wife and I spent a minute or two completely losing it, running around the room, swinging pillows, even though the bats had left the room and were exploring the rest of our house, checking out our home-design skills or whatever the hell it is bats do.
My wife’s response was simple and swift – “kill them!” Now, this is her default response to anything out of the ordinary entering our home, whether it be a cockroach or a rhino. If Jesus himself descended from heaven with a Christmas bag full of chocolate bunnies and dreidels, my wife would demand I kill it, and Mel Gibson would totally lose out on a new epic.
Luckily, the bats flew into separate bedrooms. So after regaining a slight bit of composure, I ran to the rooms (swinging a pillow wildly over my head. They go for the hair, you know) and shut the doors, trapping them inside.
Now, for me, that was enough, Problem solved, bats contained, time to move. Sadly, my wife demanded more of me and wanted me to actually run into each room, where the bats were wildly fluttering, and open the windows, which, of course, were closed. And locked.
I realized something about myself last night. Despite being 40, I still haven’t fully bought into the idea that I’m an adult. Because my first response was “why me!?” Then it occurred to me (or, she made it occur to me) that there was no one else to handle this situation, only me, because she sure as hell wasn’t going in there.
So, to make a long story just this much longer, I managed to get in the rooms (I turned the lights on in the rooms, first, as I figured that would confuse them) and opened the windows. About two hours later I snuck back into each room, my wife behind me, to check for them, and saw they were gone. As I backed out of one of the rooms, I backed into my wife, causing me to totally lose it again. You could actually hear the theme song from Benny Hill.
In the end, I lived to tell about it, though my wife has totally lost whatever last bit of respect she had for me for acting like such a spaz. I had warned her it would happen, but the reality of it left her disgusted.
Later we discussed whether we should have an exterminator come to our home and throw down a bat genocide, but decided against it, and realized that this sort of thing may happen occasionally. Because no matter how horrifying they are, they’re still just animals doing whatever it is they do in this world. I wouldn’t feel right killing them. I’m too busy fleeing, anyway.
“Maybe it would have been better for a couple more cities to burn instead of waterboarding, and we can have that debate. If you’d like Washington D.C. or Los Angeles to be obliterated by a nuclear blast, I certainly respect your opinion.” — Joe Scarborough today.
These people are flat-out psychotic, with no respect for human life. Because only white, conservative Americans are human in their minds. Maybe some day Republicans will regroup and become an organized party that benefits the U.S. But as it stands now, we can never allow these people to be in charge again.
