Statement from William K. Wolfrum: “We White Men are now an infinitesimally oppressed, slightly less powerful majority”
May 27, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum
“My friends, for many years, I have lived a life of divine privilege. By birthright, I was special – white as all get out and as male as could be. Basically, I hit the genetic lottery, and grew to be secure in the fact that all rights available to a human belonged to me.
But those days have come to and end, and with them, a tiny percentage of my hopes and dreams. You see, in just over six months, the United States has seen a black man be elected President of the United States, and a Latin woman be nominated for Supreme Court. My friends, these jobs were once the sole property of men like me. White men. White men who didn’t care about non-white men, and didn’t have to because we’re white. But those times are changing. And I am frightened.
Now, sure, I understand there are white men out there that will help white men like myself bridge the infinitesimally small new gap. I also understand that white men still make up 90 percent or more of Congress, and roughly 100 percent of the mainstream media. But these privileges are no longer purely a given, and in fact have the unseemly feel of large-partism just thrown our way by the minorly less impotent minority class.
Because, you see, not that long ago, when a Supreme Court seat opened up, I had the warm comfort of knowing that I – with no law experience whatsoever – had a much better chance at becoming a Supreme Court Justice than a woman with a Puerto Rican heritage. A woman who would have never even have been given the opportunity to gain law experience not so long ago. But now, I feel the same oppression as the blacks that were enslaved in the U.S., and the Native Americans who were slaughtered. I am now part of an oppressed, negligibly less powerful majority.
So what happens to me now? This year the Supreme Court is off limits to a white, non-law-practicing male like myself. And the Presidency is now firmly in the hands of someone who lacks the comforting whiteness that I and my fellow white men have come to accept as the norm. As someone who once had limitless opportunities, I now find the ease of which I could stumble into those opportunities limited ever-so slightly. But I believe that we White men can come back and reclaim the absolute and complete power we once held. We must begin our own civil rights struggle. We must take to the streets. It is time for a white male movement.
I believe it is time for white men to get together and form an organization that fights for our needs. In keeping with this new “Enlarge the Gap” movement, we should dress uniformly, perhaps in all white to further enhance our whiteness. Let me tell you, organization is key. And while the triflingly more powerful minorities of this nation may scoff at a large, well-organized group of white men marching the streets dressed in white with torches, for we white males it will be the type of thing that empowers us. Because the ruling, pampered minorities do not understand what an angry group of vaguely oppressed white men can accomplish. They have no historical perspective, at least as far as I learned at the private school I attended. They see us only as extremely powerful, but not God-like any longer. This tiny, almost unnoticeable gap between deity and hyper-powerful is a gap we must close.
We must fight. Today, a white male child will be born into an oppressive society where the color of his skin will only be a great advantage, not an incomprehensibly powerful advantage. That child will see that there is now extra competition out there between himself and his dreams. That child will be born into a society that – while understanding his cultural values and belief systems – will no longer automatically fearfully submit to them. That child will be destined for a life of dreams and promises that will only very likely be fulfilled. The guarantee is now gone, and we must get it back.
My white male friends, we shall overcome. We are a theoretically oppressed majority, but our voices can be heard. White men, spit the imperceptibly less silver spoon from your mouths and yell to the skies “The White Man will rise again! Power to the white male.”
Thank you, and I have retained counsel, several bodyguards, a maid, hairstylist and personal valet on this matter.”
–WKW
Oh, Bill… LOL
Too subtle? lol
I also understand that white men still make up 90 percent or more of Congress, and roughly 100 percent of the mainstream media.
Ha! Looks like you forgot about Juan Williams. Thus I refute you!
Hilarious. Bravo!
Please note: a few words missing at the end where you write “White men, spit the imperceptibly less silver spoon from your **** **** yell to the skies “The White Man will rise again! Power to the white male.””
“Theys taking over…” – Bubba, who never had control of anything, not even his double wide which is still owned by the bank.
It almost sounds like a rant by Otto (Kevin Kline) in “A Fish Called Wanda.” Except replace the overt hostility toward the British with overt hostility toward anyone non-white.
And subtle? No need! It’s actually almost spot on.
Outstanding use of humor! Reminds me of Charlie Varon’s “State of the Gender” in the early 1990s. May I perform this sometime?
a few words missing at the end
Thanks Martin. I hate when that happens.
May I perform this sometime?
Absolutely.
Great. Perfect. I would add a bit on the hetero side because it seems that the great white male is a little disturbed by same-sex marriage and the quest for public acceptance of queer unions. He might be a little closetted and by definition not own up to some private interest in another man’s weenie but that’s a side issue: there’s some power challenge that white males must rise and hold erect in opposition to the gay liberation actions. So, a side chant might be: Straight White Males of the Universe, arise with length and vigor: Hold your sword erect and ready for battle!
I am so bookmarking this!
Hm. I think it may need subtitles for the thematically impaired or its going to make the jump to a Valedictorian speech at Liberty University.
aimai
[...] William K. Wolfrum: We white men are now an infintesimally oppressed, slightly less powerful majority [...]
I thought you liked being oppressed, and wanted to get in on that action.
And aimai’s got a point, although you’re still falling short of Jonah Goldberg: “The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism.” Nor have you implied something sinister about Sotomayor’s affection for Puerto Rican cuisine. It makes satirizing these people a real challenge.
(“This year the Supreme Court is off limits to a white, non-law-practicing male like myself” was my favorite line, BTW.)
Excellent, excellent…except that I thought the selection of Bush for 2 terms and Cheney’s assertion to Rumsfeld that “this is our due” represented the penultimate moment of little rich white boy liberation. Isn’t that what Rushboy and that whiner, Newtie, are all about after all? For once, I feel sorry for Michael Steele cuz this time I think he means it. Remember that he was up against some southern white guy who sang “Barack the Magic Negro”. Steele’s stand just may cost him his job. Then he might begin to rethink the whole Republican thing….
Thank you for the excellent article. So, how’s Brazil (? I think that’s where you are…..)
Why are you white guys always so ANGRY?
“So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown.”
“I am now part of an oppressed, negligibly less powerful majority.”
Actually, you would need to be a white woman to qualify for that status.
Largely because white men hold a majority of positions of power, the women who outnumber them have long belonged to what might be call a “silent majority”.
http://www.census.gov/prod/2003pubs/p20-544.pdf
Whaddayou talkin’ bout? President Josiah Bartlet was a Spanish guy, his mom was Irish but that sure didn’t make him all white.
Pobre loco hombres…
[...] “At the GOP, we’re very aware that some day things that matter to us will be taken away unidentified blacks and other minorities,” said a press release. “So we always react to that eventuality first.” [...]
O My Gosh I’m a Black Women and have been married to a White Man FOR 10 YEARS!! I have always been pampered by POWERFUL WHITE MEN, and now that I am maried to one; MY WORKING DAYS ARE OVER. But I still enjoy working a little to stay sane. My point is, if white men loose their power in this country where will the pampered black or white women who marry them stand?? my attraction has always been that way and not for any other race!! Hopefully I am not around to see this unfold.
sucks for you SarahRose, you tethered yourself to a sinking ship…