One-Liner: Framing the debate
May 4, 2009
Dear Democrats – please note how President Barack Obama framed the debate in his speech about corporate tax shelters. See if you can pick up on that a little.
–WKW
Republicans fall for old “Nominate Perez Hilton for Supreme Court” trick
May 3, 2009
WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, President Barack Obama shocked the political establishment by nominating – without comment – infamous Miss USA judge Perez Hilton to take the spot of the retiring Judge David Souter on the U.S. Supreme Court.
“Suck it, bitchez!” said Hilton in his only comment to the surprise nomination.
The opposition that rose up against Hilton was fast, furious, and in many cases, covered in tea bags. Led by television personalities Glenn Beck, Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Joe the Plumber, dozens of protesters hit the streets.
“It’s over, my friends, we have but one hope now,” said Beck. “So get your guns and start shooting anyone darker than Jessica Alba. I repeat. Do Not shoot Jessica Alba!!”
For his part, Joe the Plumber had apparently just woken up and was unsure of what was actually happening. Though he disagreed vociferously and passionately.
“I say we make the shooting cut-off point J.Lo,” said The Plumber. “At least with the women. I mean, we aren’t animals here. We can handle some diversity, as long as it’s contained.”
In the afternoon – with majority of republican congress out marching along with the scores of militia men and Beck listeners to fight the Hilton nominations, higher taxes, Obama’s birth status, gay marriage, illegal aliens, Muslims, Mexicans, Jews, Gays and Blacks – Obama called for a surprise Senate session.
In the session, Senate leader Harry Reid used the “budget reconciliation” procedure – needing just 51 votes per bill – to slam through Obama’ complete health care plan, immigration reform plan, the abolition of private property and the U.S. dollar plan, the jail dissidents in old FEMA trailers plan and the quickly written “What the hell, let’s call ourselves North Venezuela now” plan. All were immediately signed into law by Obama.
In the afternoon, Rahm Emanuel came forward an announced that the Perez Hilton nomination had been an error, and that the President was unhappy.
“President Obama is furious about this silly error but needs to look forward,” said Emanuel. “Now, hey, look at that Bo. You know he can sit and roll over now. Very bright dog.”
–WKW
