Statement from William K. Wolfrum: “I hereby quit being a blogger so that I may be a better blogger”
July 3, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum
“My friends, when I became a blogger, I did so with a certainty of purpose. I believed that it was my sworn duty to uphold and protect the important values of the blogosphere. And since I became a blogger, I have had one success after another, making me one of the most important bloggers in the known universe.
Which is exactly why I’m quitting.
You see, I am a man of strong moral convictions, and I believe that as of this moment, the Blogotics of Destruction have taken away from my first priority – which, of course, is blogging. But for far too long, paid operatives have made it their mission to destroy me. Over the years, I have been hit with repeated attacks on my own character, which include people calling me a “loser,” or saying that I “suck,” or calling me a “douchebag.”
Well, this blog has spent countless minutes and 10s of dollars fighting these accusations, and it has driven down the output that I am known for. But I have bounced back from each attack. Thus, I quit.
But let’s not think of this as quitting. Let’s think of it as a bold move by a bold man who is willing to take a bold step. For while I am quitting blogging, I utterly refuse to quit blogging. I will continue on. For I am not a quitter. I am a fighter. It’s like when you go fishing: Sometimes you catch a lot of fish, sometimes you don’t. And sometimes your boat sinks. I think this explains why I must quit.
Now some may point to improprieties in my past. These are slanderous half-truths and vicious innuendos that must be dismissed. People have said that I’m “lazy” and “self-absorbed.” They’ve called me a “narcissist only worried about myself.” They’ve accused me of “exposing myself in public” and “robbing a 7-11 in Anaheim” and other such nonsense. I am not the type to back down from these false accusations and will fight them with every ounce of my strength. Which I why I must quit.
If I may use a sports analogy: This is like boxing, where one fighter gets hit in the nose repeatedly and finally quits. Well, I am not the type of blogger who would do such a thing. So I must quit.
In the end, all I ask is that you trust me on this one. Because I will always be a blogger and will continue blogging for the good of this country. This is why I must quit.
Thank you and I have retained counsel in this matter.”
–WKW
Two pieces of constructive criticism:
1. It makes too much sense.
2. You didn’t work in your favorite prop and the troops.
One word: maverick.
Once again Bill you prove your mavericky mavericknish with every post.
I hope you’re new career at quitting blogging is a wonderful mavericky success.
WKW in ’12!!
If this was justification for quitting, I’d never have to get outta bed again …
In solidarity with your brave stand, WKW, I hereby announce that I have decided to quit reading this blog.
To reiterate my intentions to stop reading this blog (and to demonstrate that when it comes to quitting, I, sir, am no quitter), I intend to read this blog every day just so I can quit reading it at the end of every day.
Think I can’t quit you, Wolfrum? Ha! I’m a-gonna quit you every single day, you betcha! [Wink!]
And position flexible as such, also.
The main thing is that I need a better way to hate America, so quitting was the only option. It’s time for me to focus on the big picture. Perhaps I’ll blog about that again.
Now, THAT’S the kind of nonsensical gibberish I’m talking about! It seems as if is should make sense but yet…doesn’t.
LOL
What kind of fish? Is it a mackerel? Mavericks who catch mackerels are the most mavericky mavericks. especially if they throw them back and make macaroni.
Honestly, Belladame, I used to be a commercial fisherman who once worked on a trawler that caught – wait for it – mackerel.
There’s a lot of reforming maverickness in this comment thread. I like it, yet dislike it.
As a proud supporter of your blog, I must respect your wish to never blog again in the hopes that you continue blogging in a more productive way in the future. With any luck you might find some small bit of inspiration, on your refrigerator perhaps and move towards a more fulfilling blog.
It sounds like you, too, may be a non-partisan who is not partisan in a very non-partisan-y way.
http://altmouse.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwt9-Wb6R5E
I can’t decide whether this is a bold and daring strategy, or an attempt to avoid prosecution and problems related to some yet-to-be revealed scandal. Of course, since you have indicated your retention of counsel, I wouldn’t presume to imply anything since I should fear the wrath of some virtual legal action.
If it’s any consolation, I’m sure that Bill Kristol and Karl Rove would agree that your sudden resignation is a brilliant move, and I for one am sure you will be able to effectively influence online communication from outside the blogosphere.
Just make sure you check the background whenever you are being photographed.
A million bucks her husband cheated on her.
[...] Following a train wreck of a month that saw Sen. John Ensign admit to adultery, S.C. Governor Mark Stanford go AWOL from his job before admitting he also was an adulterer, and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin give her three-week notice, the news that no huge scandal had broken in a 24-hour period had the Republican base feeling optimistic about its future. [...]
Thanks for the blogging, but I’m too busy hiking the Appalachian trail to read it right now. Maybe I’ll get to it after I fall back in love with my wife.