GOP celebrates 24 hours without anything stupid, immoral or illegal happening, “We’re back, baby!”

WASHINGTON — “We’re back, baby!”

Such were the words of Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele after being informed that the Republican Party had finished an entire 24-hour cycle without any of its members being caught in an act of adultery, quitting, or being convicted of any type of crime.

“This is something we are going to build on,” said Steele. “I think the American people can now see we are able to go one full day without anything disastrous happening.”

Following a train wreck of a month that saw Sen. John Ensign admit to adultery, S.C. Governor Mark Stanford go AWOL from his job before admitting he also was an adulterer, and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin give her three-week notice, the news that no huge scandal had broken in a 24-hour period had the Republican base feeling optimistic about its future.

“If we can go 24 hours, who’s to say we can’t go 48?” said Republican leader Newt Gingrich. “I’d hesitate to say we could go a week, but we’re making progress.”

One media expert who asked not to be named said that the 24-hour accomplishment by his party once again proved that that the GOP was a “serious party that took things seriously.”

“In all seriousness, the seriousness shown by Republicans during this period is what the people have long clamored for,” said the media expert. “While Democrats are busy electing comedians, Republicans are not cheating on their spouses, quitting or being arrested. This is a very serious development that must be treated seriously.”

But while Republicans celebrated their day with no drama, several bloggers and independent journalists added one caveat to the accomplishment.

“Remember,” wrote blogger Mustang Bobby. “No Republican was ‘convicted’ of anything or ‘admitted’ to adultery. That’s a pretty important distinction.”

Still, for their part, Democrats in Congress seemed impressed with the GOP’s sudden morality and vowed to work with them in anyway possible.

“We always keep an eye on the opposition and we know the public is excited to see that the GOP was able to get through the day without any types of admissions or convictions,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. “I think it would be in Democrats best interest to act in a bipartisan manner now and drop the Public Option from the health care bill. That will show the new, serious Republican Party that we are serious, also.”

–WKW

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