American People set to overtake Washington Generals for longest losing streak
September 8, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum
WASHINGTON – As the next loss looms over the horizon in the form of health care reform, the American People are prepared to overtake the Washington Generals for the world’s longest losing streak.
Known for their willingness to give a good effort despite being doomed to lose, the American Public is still going through the motions, entertaining the crowd despite the fact that another loss is on the way.
“We will make every Democratic Senator sign a pledge to support a robust public option,” said Jane Hamsher of Fire Dog Lake, moments before being hit in the face with a banana cream pie.
The loss in the health care battle will mark the 13,137th consecutive loss for the American people, whose losing streak stretches back to the 1960s. The Generals, Known for their willingness to give a good effort despite being doomed to lose, have long been the foil of the basketball troop, the Harlem Globetrotters.
One government official said this latest loss will have a dramatic ending, as President Barack Obama and Democratic Senators will pass a bill touting that they’ve reformed health care, despite the fact that the whole thing will end up as a resounding victory for health insurance lobbyists.
“We’re really hoping for a big finish on this,” said the government official. “Just when it dawns on Americans that they lost again, we’re going to hurl a bucket of confetti in their face. It’ll be classic.”
–WKW
My favorite routine is when Congress tosses affordable healthcare coverage for every American into the stands, then just as everyone starts to reach out to grab it, they pull it back in mid-air via a string that you didn’t notice they’d attached to it.
Of course, the Trotters’ “pull the ball back with the hidden string” does have the advantage of not dooming tens of thousands of Americans to bankruptcy, inferior health care and premature death.
Other’n that, though, the Congress trick is a fun one.
* Whistles Sweet Georgia Brown *