Sarah Palin says 5-year-old boy is “An ignorant, bed-wetting, attention whore”
October 29, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum
HOLLYWOOD – Ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin took to her Facebook page again today, this time to refute allegations made by 5-year-old Timmy Johnson of Tupelo, Miss., who had made harsh comments about Palin yesterday.
“Timmy Johnson is an embarrassment to 5-year-olds everywhere,” wrote Palin. “He is an ignorant, selfish attention whore.”
The attack by Palin came after Johnson made remarks about Palin during a pre-school class.
“She’s scary,” Johnson reportedly said. “I don’t like her.”
Word quickly got to Palin about the boy’s remark, and she wasted no time in responding.
“If there’s anyone more in need of a timeout than Timmy Johnson, I can’t think of them,” said Palin. “The little bed wetter needs to mind his own business.”
The attack on young Johnson is the latest attack on young boys by Palin. Earlier this week, she lashed out at teenager Levi Johnston – the father of her grandchild.
“Those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention,” said Palin, a former beauty contest contestant.
While conservatives cheered Palin’s aggressiveness in attacking anyone who would go against her (“I am so in love with her,” said Weekly Standard Editor William Kristol), others have complained that Palin is beginning to show a callous and vindictive side.
“I have no idea what’s going on here,” said Gloria Johnson, mother of Timmy. “But the bed wetting remark was out of bounds. Timmy is very sensitive about that.”
In other news, Palin announced that she will soon be quitting Facebook.
“The best way for me to help social media is to be outside of social media,” said Palin, who then apparently became distracted and just started spouting her normal talking points. “Like a salmon swims socialist polar bears riding snow mobiles oil and Patriots You betcha Trig. America!!
–WKW
Palin is a hypocrite? You betcha.
“Those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention.”
That’s actually a direct quote from Palin in the original article.
My thought: From her mouth to God’s ears. I’m incredibly intrigued to see how far attention-whoring can possibly go in that family.
I don’t know, wouldn’t Palin have first had her spokescreature Megan McArdle denounce little Timmy first before the Barracuda herself went in for the kill?
Other than that, I recognize the usual fine quality of this WKW satire.
Now Sarah has a new man in her life — Barney Fife stunt double Doug Hoffman from upstate New York. “Doug, is that a bullet in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” Facebook will burn with the fire of their hot conservative Christian low-tax, small government passion. (According to no less an authority than Ted Haggard, fundamentalist Christians have more and better sex than the Unsaved. Of course, you must wonder how much meth he had in his blood system when he said this.)
I think a great strategy would be to put Palin front and center at every close congressional election in 2010. I’m not sure if the Democrats can talk her into it though. But it’s worth a shot, you betcha.