Dear Fellow Traveler: I know the downward journey you’re on because I traveled it

Dear Fellow Traveler,

We’ve never met but I know you. Like you, I am an alcoholic. And with the difficult holiday season almost upon us, I thought I’d write to you. Because in a few months, I’ll celebrate my seventh year of sobriety. I have been on the journey to the bottom, and I am still and always will be on the journey back.

Calling you an alcoholic may be presumptuous and even rude on my part, but having been there, I am very aware that those who knew me were very much aware of my own alcoholism long before I was willing to own up to it. So friend, I say this with complete confidence – I feel your pain. I spent many years as a functional alcoholic, often waking up with that terrible hangover that’s accompanied by the guilt that comes with knowing you’ve done something shameful like making a fool of yourself in public or upsetting a loved one. And I know the feeling of what it’s like when the functional part leaves you, and all you’re left with is the alcoholic part.

I know what it’s like to have weekends disappear in a drunken haze. I know what it’s like to lie about why your work is suffering and why you take more sick days than anyone else. I know the feeling of waking up at 2 a.m. half-drunk and half-hungover and being unable to go back to sleep because every fiber in your body feels tensed and stressed and wrong. I know the downward journey that you are on, because I traveled it.

But I know that journey can be turned around and lead to a good place. Because with the help of a loving wife and family, I was able to stop. That was and continues to be a journey of its own, but more than five years into it, it is a journey of love and happiness. It is a journey that has given me restored confidence and a comfort in my own skin that I never had experienced prior.

Like you I have felt terrible humiliation and shame. But those feelings in me are gone now because I was finally honest with myself. Because I knew the journey I was on would end in tragedy. And because, more than anything, I wanted to be better, I wanted to stop drinking.

Now, I recognize my past but I feel no shame for it. And I cannot be shamed or embarrassed for it. Over the years I have taken full responsibility for my alcoholism. And the shame and fear has been replaced with pride and hope. And no one can take those feelings away from me or make me feel bad for traveling this road.

You are not a laughingstock, no matter how many try to make you one. And you are not alone. There are millions and millions of us on the same journey as you, on various stages of the path. And you have it in you to change direction.

Speaking as someone who turned around, let me tell you that it’s obviously not easy, but it is possible. You just have to honestly recognize which way you are heading and embrace it with every aching and tired fiber of your being. It can be done. And trust me when I tell you this – the road back is truly a journey worth taking. But regardless of where you are on your journey, just know that I’m your friend, and I think of you often.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

Bill