End-of-the-world in 2012 could validate GOP agenda, and other vaguely deep thoughts
November 9, 2009 by William K. Wolfrum
Just thinking …
The GOP Agenda makes a lot more sense if you believe the World ends in 2012. We need an amendment to the Health Care Reform Bill so tax-payers won’t pay for hernia exams for guys. Because touching testicles is totally a sin. I recently got some vaccinations shots for free via Brazil’s Universal Health Care. Yet, I still have private insurance, as well. Must be some type of fluke in the system that both entities can survive at one time. In 18 years, Baby Maddie will wear Che T-shirts and lob smoke bombs at G-20 meetings. Thanks Rep. Shadegg! If Blackwater had their own Private abortion brigade, the GOP would award them with a no-bid contract to do them. If Tom Tancredo can’t stand up to military service or Markos Moulitsas, how can we believe he can stand up to the horrifying immigration menace that threatens to destroy society as he views it? Remember, if Rich, old white guys can’t control women’s bodies and choices, it will kill incentive for white guys to get rich.
–WKW
He’ll do it the same way that Sarah Palin will protect us from death panels & the Kenyan Islamo-fascists who wanna remove “In God We Trust” from our money. …
The same way that Mike Huckabee will keep us safe from the imminent danger of a terrorist-inflicted electromagnetic pulse. …
The same way that Michelle Bachmann will stop Obama from killing our grandmas. …
The same way that Condi Rice kept the world safe from the smoking gun in the shape of a mushroom cloud in Iraq. …
And the same way that BillO & Glenn Beck have kept the nation intact in the face of the massive ACORN plot to destroy America.
We may rightly question the abilities of these nutjobs to stand up to, ya know, *real* opponents. But when it comes to keeping the world safe from imaginary demons, ain’t no one better.
We trust God so much we invented money. (Sounds like some are not as trusting as they let on.)
But we kind of know this is a contradiction, so to make ourselves feel better about it we print that we trust God on the little green notes we use to divide up worldly power. And then if we really feel guilty about our lack of faith and trust, we give 10% of the worldly power notes we have collected away to self proclaimed representatives of God.
They use this money to build big Churches where congregations can hear why God does not want people with the most little green worldly power notes to pay taxes. After all, these people are already commited to God’s self proclaimed representatives for 10%.
Occasionally at the big Churches built with the notes we use to divide worldly power, that are stamped with a proclamation of our faith in a God who we trust and believe in so much that we invented money, someone talks about the Son of God, and someone experiences a spiritual rebirth, and someone learns a little bit about sacrifice, and charity, and conviction, and someone finds peace, and someone finds help. Occasionally.
When the Son of God walked on the Earth, they divided up worldly power not with paper notes, stamped with a confession of alleged faith, but with coins stamped with the images of Emperors. Jesus wasn’t much into collecting these worldly power coins. Some might argue He didn’t need them. And no doubt that was the case, but I suspect He just didn’t much care for them. “Render onto Caesar”, and so on.
I don’t think anyone could reasonably argue that Jesus wasn’t all about some Christianity. He invented it, let’s not forget. Yet he never collected piles of worldly power coins stamped with a proclamation of faith in Caesar in order to build huge temples. Instead, He had faith in his Dad and walked around the countryside telling people the truth and teaching people how not to rely on worldly power coins. “Lilies of the field”, and so on.
Well I came all this way to get here so let me finish it: the most glaring sign that unequivocally demonstrates Man’s lack of faith in God is that we felt it necessary to print “In God we Trust” on our worldly power notes.
You want to really trust God? I happen to be one of God’s representatives. Feel free to unburden yourself as much as your faith in God will allow. I accept Master Card, check, and paypal.