Jesus Christ: Karl Rove’s divorce destroys the Sanctity of Marriage
February 3, 2010 by William K. Wolfrum
TEXAS – The Sanctity of Marriage came to an end recently, as political operative and conservative Karl Rove got a divorce. Rove, former senior adviser to President George W. Bush, has been granted a divorce in Texas after 24 years of marriage.
“Karl Rove and his wife, Darby, were granted a divorce last week,” said Fox News Analyst Dana Perino.
Reached for comment, Jesus Christ Almighty said Rove’s divorce – one in a long line of divorces from prominent pro-marriage types like Newt Gingrich, John McCain, Ronald Reagan and others – ends marriage in his eyes.
“What part of ‘Until death do us part,” don’t you cretins understand!” said a pissed-off Christ. “That’s it. Over. Done. I’m not counting anyone as married any more.”
Christ’s proclamation opens the door for same-sex marriages, as now all marriages are considered equal in the eyes of the Lord, and the burning hypocrisy of same-sex marriage protesters can now no longer be ignored. The Savior’s ruling, however, will have no effect on whether gays and lesbians can serve in the military, as Rove never served in the military and bases all his opinions on it on pure conjecture.
–WKW
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