Jezus aks his fallowrs to be more stupidur
February 8, 2010 by William K. Wolfrum
AMERICUH – Following the grand celebration of his name at the recent Tea Party Convention, Jesus Christ issued this press release:
Deer fallowrs,
Hi! Im Jezus! Thank u 4 making me so more poplar wit Amricuhns. Thatz the great?
Pleez keep making teh persons of Amricuh more stupidur all the time. Wait, i thursty. Ok. UR the best!
Saruh Paylan is good so much that she tawks and things and stiuff and im the God and she knowz it and tawkz aboot it and makez me the happiest! and iwill devyne intervenshun U!
I aks my fallowrs to stop being so eduhcated. Itz no gud for me at all! Pretzels!
So tythe alot and stop lurning things but me all tyme and thn well all b in hehvan and pray and get the ize creem!
So listn to Saruh and b a reel Americuhn and don’t studie and listn to her and smrt peeple r teh stupid and u go0d and hevuhn.
Yay!
–WKW
That was possibly the most random, incoherent, illegible group of non-sequiturs I’ve ever read. It’s like you took the best of the Tea Party Convention, ran it over with a car, poured honey on it and left it in a bear cage overnight.
Well done.