Bring back slavery (or build more prisons)
February 23, 2010 by William K. Wolfrum
While the U.S. economy continues to operate, the unemployment situation in the nation is still a giant area of concern. When unemployment hits 10 percent, economic heads explode. When it stays that way, it could be disastrous.
So while the recently passed “Jobs Bill” may seem like a nice addition to the battle for employment, U.S. politicos have yet to propose the only plan that could conceivably put the U.S. back on top.
It’s time to bring back slavery.
Slavery can bring this nation back to what it once was – a group of slaves and slave owners. With slavery, the American economy will once again be competitive. With slavery, once again, everyone will work.
No, before the screams of racism come wafting down, let me note that my vision for Slavery 2.0 is not based whatsoever on race. No, race is insignificant. All that matters is social standing. If you can afford a slave, you’re a slave owner. If you can’t, you’re a slave. It’s that simple.
And, of course, there would be rules. For instance, you can’t just up and kill a slave. There needs to be some type of paperwork filed beforehand. No other rules would be required, as the market would take care of itself.
In the end, slavery will help the U.S. in every way conceivable. Illegal immigration would end, as any illegal immigrants caught would be made into slaves. The U.S. labor market would have a way to fight back against China’s human-rights-violation labor market. New business would sprout up to take advantage of the cheap new labor market. Those that make manacles will have incredibly lucrative years.
My friends, America is known for its innovations. That’s why it’s time to return to slavery. Now, only slaves can save us.
Or, we could always just start putting more people in prison. Either way, it’s win-win.
–WKW
No, before the screams of racism come wafting down, let me note that my vision for Slavery 2.0 is not based whatsoever on race. No, race is insignificant. All that matters is social standing. If you can afford a slave, you’re a slave owner. If you can’t, you’re a slave. It’s that simple.
An elegant solution to a complex problem. And I like the whole market oriented nature of this. I’m sure you just gave Larry Kudlow a boner.
What a mean thing to say. Slavery did more harm then good. Your family wasn’t out there picking cotton, raped, beaten, and still to this day treated beneath the “pure people.” Slaves built the foundation that gives you the right to make such cruel comments. Its very sad when slavery cant be recognized as the most horrible event in American history. Efforts should be made to accommodate whether through word or deed instead of setting up back to that dark time in history.
What world do you live in talking like that? So SAD
[...] early yet, but one wonders if the prison population continues to go down, where will all the inmates find good jobs that pay them $.03 an [...]