Breaking: A drunken Barack Obama chokes living daylights out of Jim Bunning

WASHINGTON – Inside sources confirm that U.S. President Barack Obama – completely hammered on Coors Light and Alabama Slammers – choked the living daylights out of Republican Senator Jim Bunning, today.

“You no-good political opportunish,” slurred Obama, as Bunning’s face turned crimson. “Putting people out of work, screwing over seniors and taking away unemployment benefits for no reason!”

Afterward, Obama reportedly stumbled into Tom Tancredo’s office and kicked him square in the nads.

“Who’s illiterate now!,” Obama reportedly said.

“Gaah,” Reportedly responded Tancredo.

Most Washington insiders were shocked at the President’s behavior. Still, Matt Drudge of the Drudge Report said he knew it all along.

“I linked to a story where it said in the very last line that Obama needed to drink moderately,” said Drudge. “Sure, maybe that had something to do with his cholesterol being too high, but better we be on the safe side and accuse him of being an alcoholic.”

–WKW