John Ensign: “At least I never tickled anyone”
March 10, 2010 by William K. Wolfrum
WASHINGTON – Republican Senator John Ensign – speaking from his room at the C Street Center – has come out swinging against ex-Representative Eric Massa.
“That he would admit to a tickle fight is a travesty and an embarrassment for this Congress,” said Ensign, who at no time during his speech slept with any of his friends’ wives. “The Democrats have once again proven to have serious ethics problems.”
Ensign – who while speaking never once tried to find a job for anyone he cuckolded – said he felt his record showed him as a fierce non-tickler.
“I don’t tickle the Republican Party at all,” said Ensign, who was backed by close friend, Republican Sen. Tom Coburn. “I stridently avoid any ticklish situations.”
Ensign’s speech was cut short, however, as his parents arrived and chased away reporters with a broom and $100 bills.
–WKW
I love that Ensign didn’t sleep with any of his friends wives or try to find anyone a job while he was making this comment. He’s made so much progress.
He is a man of principles, you know.
But at every Tea Party it takes a guy who just knows how to spread his clotted cream in the nooks and crannies of a bit of crumpet and John Ensign is that guy. Rest assured that he will eat your crumpet, too.
Rest assured that he will eat your crumpet, too.
I give that comment 4.5 lolz’s out of a possible 5 lolz.