NAMBLA: “At least we aren’t the Catholic Church”

March 18, 2010 by  

For countless decades, Catholic parents around the globe sent their children to work with the Catholic Church in a variety of ways – alter boys, choir members, etc. Many times, this experience is helpful to the child, who learns responsibility, hard work and a deeper understanding of God.

And many other times, the child returns, completely broken and emotionally destroyed because they were sexually abused by pedophile Catholic priests.

Unlike the Catholic Church, we here at NAMBLA openly and honestly tell the public what we’re all about. We don’t internally hide things from people. We’re the North American Man-Boy Love Association, for God’s sake. But here at NAMBLA, we strongly discourage this type of behavior from the Catholic Church. Sure, we are a despicable organization bent on opening the floodgates of Man-Boy Love. But the simple fact is this – we barely exist any longer.

Because of this, we at NAMBLA feel unfairly maligned. Every election cycle, you can guarantee that you’ll hear about us and how every social program somehow leads your children to us and how every Democratic politician secretly belongs to our organization. We wish.

Now, while we’re used to this type of outrage against us – we are pretty freakin’ evil, after all – we feel that these attacks are unwarranted. NAMBLA should not be the boogieman that it has become. The Catholic Church should be that man of boogie.

Because the public’s outrage against us has made us an extremely insignificant organization over the years. Evil, but insignificant. For Catholics, however, the Church plays an important part in day-to-day life. And they molest kids like there’s a shortage of them.

Yet the Catholic Church remains a juggernaut, with the Vatican probably one of the richest “nations” on the planet. Despite truckloads of molested children and endless “scandals,” the Church continues to thrive, and few outright fear and hate it for its open molestations of children all around the globe.

This is why we, few NAMBLA members that aren’t rightfully in prison and haven’t been chased underground have come up with a new slogan: “NAMBLA – It’s not like we’re the Catholic Church.”

We feel this new slogan captures what we’re all about. Because we talk a good game, but real opportunities so rarely present themselves. At the Vatican, it’s possible that they all are pedophiles, and work endlessly to insure those interactions will continue.

So all we ask is this: When describing an evil organization, why not use the Catholic Church as an example? Let the ACLU try and defend them. Because we recognize that while we’re evil, the Catholic Church is much worse, but just with much better marketing.

So Remember: We don’t have a Pope. We don’t have altar boys. You never see 30 of us rounded up and arrested for illegal sex rings. We’re only “North American” and not international. We’re NAMBLA. And at least we’re not the Catholic Church.

–WKW

Comments

2 Responses to “NAMBLA: “At least we aren’t the Catholic Church””

  1. hugh.c.mcbride on March 18th, 2010 1:42 pm

    Aaaaand just that quickly, Notre Dame exits the NCAA men’s tourney. (Though BYU advances — does this mean that god finds homophobia to be less offensive than pedophilia? Discuss …)

  2. Baby Jesus molested by Catholic Priests, disappears « Atheism « William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on March 25th, 2010 6:45 am

    [...] “We really should have known better than to let him hang out with Catholics,” said Mary, mother of Jesus. “They’re just a bunch of predators.” [...]

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