Large Hadron Collider fails to wipe out existence, U.S. debt

March 30, 2010 by  

In what can only be called a terrible disappointment for the fiscally responsible, the Large Hadron Collider yesterday failed to cause the universe to implode, taking with it the U.S. national debt.

Nonetheless, researchers are pleased:

Researchers involved in the world’s largest scientific experiment in Geneva have broken the record for the most powerful particle collisions with their first results.

Physicists at the $10-billion Large Hadron Collider (LHC) directed two proton beams into each other Tuesday as part of its ambitious bid to reveal details about theoretical particles and forces.

The collisions are the first experimental results for the facility, which until now had been running only tests of its proton accelerators. The ATLAS detector at the LHC recorded the collisions shortly after 7 a.m. ET.

“Experiments are collecting their first physics data. Historic moment here!” wrote a representative for CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, on the organization’s Twitter account.

Oh well, maybe the LHC will solve all the world’s problems next time.



One Response to “Large Hadron Collider fails to wipe out existence, U.S. debt”

  1. dgun on March 31st, 2010 12:19 pm

    No offense to physicists or gay people or gay physicists, but ‘Large Hadron Collider ‘ just does not market well to heterosexuals.

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