President Barack Obama To Win Landslide Re-Election in 2012

April 22, 2010 by  

It’s April 20, 2010, and let me call it now – President Barack Obama will easily win re-election in 2012. Any discussion you hear about the 2012 presidential election is just a way to wile away the hours between the next Lindsay Lohan and/or Kim Kardashian news.

There’s three indisputable reasons to call this race so early:

1) The economy will be better in 2011 than it is now.

It’s almost impossible not to improve the economy after eight years of George W. Bush’s mad and often confusing slay-the-beast onslaught. It was as if the kids from “Jersey Shore” were running the place. It was a situation.

Basically, if unemployment numbers are less than 9%, or Joe Biden doesn’t accidentally lose all our money, it’s a non-issue.

2) Obama’s re-election campaign will be a shock & awe effort of the likes the political world has ever seen:

Imagine combining the Super Bowl and Carnival, then firing off repeated gold-plated orgasm flairs. That’s going to be every day for 18 months of the Obama campaign. They may do the whole thing in 3-D and have Kathryn Bigelow direct. And that was their first one. The first one will look like a Jr. High pep rally compared to the bombardment of sense and emotions about to be released on the U.S.

3) All the GOP has to run against him are Republicans:

While ranked third, this really is the icing on the cake. The Republicans have not one person who could beat Barack Obama. Not one. The closest thing to a winnable candidate they have is Meghan McCain. Trust me, poll it. Unfortunately, she’s like 19 or something, so she’s out.

As for Sarah Palin, she’ll sooner co-star in a “Very Special Episode of Alf,” (where she’ll frag Alf from a helicopter) before she’ll be considered a serious Presidential candidate by “Real America.”

Newt Gingrich? Bring it. Just bring it.

Mitt Romney? Mitt Romney wouldn’t vote for Mitt Romney.

Scott Brown would be the most attractive candidate, but Tea Partiers will never forgive him for occasionally voting like a human, and he seems far more astute than to commit political suicide at the start of a promising career.

Even Mike Huckabee has to be sick of Mike Huckabee.

Seriously, they have nobody. And the “Policy of Hell No” won’t exactly be winning fans after some voters have already benefited from the health care reform law.

I suppose it is possible a surprise candidate will stun us all and present a real challenge to Obama. Except that I just wrote that to cover my bases; and trust me, there’s no one. The GOP would be best off giving Bob Dole or Walter Mondale their nomination. At least we know they can handle it.

So let me call it now and beat the rush: Obama wins the 2012 presidential election by a landslide over a horrifyingly inept Republican candidate. I guarantee it.

And I guarantee this, as well: The mainstream political talkers will spend a great deal of time discussing how the “Tea Party” somehow made a difference.

PS: Just to come off as slightly topical, let me add my prediction for the 2010 Congress races. About 93 percent of incumbents will keep their jobs.


Originally posted at Alan Colmes’ Liberaland.


9 Responses to “President Barack Obama To Win Landslide Re-Election in 2012”

  1. dgun on April 22nd, 2010 5:37 am

    All the GOP has to run against him are Republicans

    I’m stealing that. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You live in Brazil, a long, long way away from me.

  2. Michael on April 22nd, 2010 5:51 am

    WKW: “About 93 percent of incumbents will keep their jobs.”

    But the teevee told me that McCain and Boxer would lose. And Tea Party candidates will replace both of them. Because the Tea Party is a real movement of real people from real America, and they’re really upset and really not going to take it anymore. They really hate the incumbents, and they’re going to really work really hard to make sure we get real Americans in those positions. For realz. Really.

  3. hugh.c.mcbride on April 23rd, 2010 9:16 am

    Imagine combining the Super Bowl and Carnival, then firing off repeated gold-plated orgasm flairs.

    So you’re sayin’ the Obama campaign’s gonna feel like it does when we fire up the Intertoobz & find a new WKW post?


  4. Sidney18511 on September 18th, 2012 7:48 am

    My biggest consern is the voter suppression.

  5. Fox News Election Day Live-Blog 2012 « Humor « William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on November 6th, 2012 3:02 am

    [...] Having watched Fox News a bit yesterday, I am now under the assumption that Mitt Romney will win this election with at least 350 electoral votes. It’s pretty much a done deal at Fox that Mitt will win. My guess is this attitude is partly to fire up the base and partly to try and act shocked when Obama wins. And he will. Just like I predicted in 2010. [...]

  6. jeff on November 11th, 2012 6:14 am

    This hasturned out to be surprisingly accurate. And not just for the prediction of BHO’s victory.

  7. Stephen on November 11th, 2012 8:22 am

    Hilarious. Astute. And true. The reason you’re not on The Roundtable this morning is… what? you charge too much?

  8. Tribeca Mike on November 11th, 2012 10:42 am

    Nailed it!

  9. dgun on November 14th, 2012 6:27 pm

    Nate Silver was a little late to the game..

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