Top Kill stops BP Oil Gusher, produces no Godzillas
May 27, 2010 by William K. Wolfrum
Initial reports out of the Gulf are that British Petroleum’s “Top Kill” plan has stopped the oil from spurting out of the Earth.
From AmericaBlog:
There is currently no oil leaking into the Gulf of Mexico from the well that had been spewing crude into the sea for more than a month.
“They’ve stopped the hydrocarbons from coming up,” National Incident Commander Thad Allen told WWL First News. “They’ve been able to stabilize the well head, they are pumping mud down it.”
Allen says now they have to make sure the heavy drilling fluids, or mud, will hold back the oil and natural gas in the well long enough for them to be able to cap the well.
Also, there have been no reported sightings of any Godzill-type creatures. As I’ve said before, if a method called “Top Kill” can’t bring about Godzilla, probably nothing will.
All in all, though, some needed good news for the Gulf of Mexico.
Update: Never mind. And I’d say there’s still some hope for Godzillas.
–WKW
Crossposted at DagBlog
I always thought Top Kill sounded a lot like a Steven Seagal movie. The plot would basically be the same as any other Steven Seagal movie. An ex-CIA agent (Stevie), currently working in a low-paying position (fisherman), finds out that some bad corporate guys (BP, played by Kris Kristofferson) are poluting the environment. And it falls on him to set things right, using his martial arts skills and suede jackets:
http://www.steven-seagal.net/forum/showthread.php?p=181381
It won’t be a blockbuster, but it will certainly make a substantial profit, as it costs approximately $5 to produce a Seagal movie. Writers’ fees are obviously not necessary.
played by Kris Kristofferson
That’s all lolz.
byw, You think Seagal runs like a sissy to throw the bad guys off? For example, the bad guys see him coming from a long way off but think, “Is that a girl running this way? What does she want, I wonder?” Then by the time they get a good look at him, “Oh no, It’s Seagal, run!’ Too late. Ass kickings all around.
Doesn’t work for Chuck Norris, thou. The cowboy hat and full body suit of denim give him away. That and the confederate battle flag.
I always pictured Seagal’s entrance to be similar to that of Sir Lancelot the Brave (as portrayed by John Cleese in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”). You see him off in the distance, running toward you. And then you bite an apple, and you see him off in the distance, running toward you. And you stand there, and you see him off in the distance, running toward you. It’s like you’re seeing him running toward you, but he never seems to get any closer. And then, just when you start to feel at ease with him running off in the distance, you suddenly realize that he’s stabbed you with a sword and run past you into the castle.
But you’re right about Chuck. There’s no way to sneak up on someone while wearing an oversized hat that plays “I Wish I Was in Dixie.”
Have you guys seen Seagal’s Reality Show, where he’s a Sheriff? It’s the greatest thing ever.
I was really excited about it when they started advertising, but by the time it came around, I had already dumped my cable service. It didn’t seem worth $40 a month just to watch that one show. I’ll put it in my Netflix queue once it becomes available on DVD.
Michael: *Love* the Seagal/Kristofferson film idea, & definitely think it would have a better than average chance of earning back the $5 production costs.
My only suggestion would be to add a swashbuckling, rabble-rousing journalist (or, to appeal to today’s young’uns, one of those “bloggers” that all the kids are talking about today).
Would need to be a character who’s familiar with life on the water (like maybe a former fisherman), who’s got the investigative chops to dig deep into obscure information, & who’s not afraid to take on evil corporate dudes.
As an added bonus — to promote global togetherness & to boost the chances for international sales — the guy could even be a US expat who resides in some foreign country, & who happens to be in town to do some golfing or to attend a Footloose fan convention or something.
Any ideas on casting? Off the top of my head, I’m thinking Jim Belushi.
Hugh, if you’re talking about a journalist/blogger sidekick position, only one name springs to mind: Rob Schneider.